Chapter Three
Nov. 4th, 2004 11:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
maderrNeeds a bit of work, mostly details and fleshing out and *blather edited out* but this is the skeleton. Not supposed to edit during Nano, so I'm trying not to >_> Even though it makes me twitchy. G'night/morning All!
Chapter Three
Merchant class star ship 00061225, the dragonfly
"There," Cyan said, restoring his pointcard to his wallet. "One million points. It'll be your fault if it gets traced."
"Please, we're pirates," Einn grinned. "No one'll know a thing."
Einn nodded from his seat overlooking the rest of the bridge. "Gents, say hello to our special guest - Cyan McCracken."
The crew just looked at him. There were roughly fifty pirates to Einn's crew, and ten of them maintained the bridge. Besides Cyan and Einn there were seven humans, one other Fornarian, a Sardoran - Cyan tried not to wince - and an almost insect-like creature bent over the navi-coms. Of the humans, four probably came from his own quadrant, the others had the reddish coloring of the first quad.
"Captain," the second-in-command spoke up, a human with the reddish skin of the first quadrant, his brown hair short and spiky, the In-Specs on his face hiding his green eyes. "What's going on here?"
"Mr. McCracken is paying us to escort him under greatest secrecy to Kreska." Einn looked at his second, "Do you have a problem with that, Mr. Faller."
"Yes," he replied bluntly. "We're pirates, not a transport service. Why does he need us to transport him?"
"We're getting a million points for it. That should be the end of the matter for you," Einn replied with finalty.
"Yes, sir." Faller grumbled. He looked at Cyan, "So what do you do for a living that you can just throw us a million points?"
Cyan grinned, "I gott'em at Rehab." He laughed as every head on the bridge turned to glare at him. Prisoners were 'in' Rehab, Guards were 'at.'
Einn whistled, "You're bolder than I thought. Or maybe dumber." He looked up at Cyan through his lashes, "And here I thought you got the money from your parents. You're just a Rehabilitator." He motioned to his men "You're probably not going to be well liked now. More than a few of us have comrades undergoing Rehabilitation."
"Not on my watch, unless they're particularly bloodthirsty."
Another whistle, "Sector Six, eh? My, my, what a specimen you are. And here I was thinking you were just a lazy Civi who happened to be good with a Stunner."
"Speaking of which," Cyan said, "Could I have my it back? It's custom made, I'd hate to lose it."
"Of course. You'll probably need it against some of my crew." Einn winked, "Though you can always come to me for protection."
"I told you no already," Cyan said with a laugh.
"We'll see." Einn stood, suddenly all business. "Faller, find McCracken's weapon and see that a room is prepared. Then let's get down to business; I want to sell our haul as quickly as possible, and we need to figure out the best route to Kreska."
"Aye, Captain" Faller said with resignation before signaling that Cyan should follow him.
In short order Cyan was alone in a small cabin, and he set his bags down with a faint thump before stretching out on the narrow bed with a soft sigh. "What are you doing?" he asked aloud. "If anyone figures out what you're playing out, you're going to wind up in Rehab when this is over."
Cyan turned on his side, tucking his arms under his head and closing his eyes. His thoughts drifted, from home to Alice to Sean to Einn, landing eventually on the one person he'd not thought about in years - his brother.
Thirteen. He'd been thirteen when his parents were assassinated at the annual Eternity Ball. Just three years too young to be allowed to attend it himself; his brother had been sixteen, and not once had he ceased bragging about how he was going and Cyan wasn't.
He could still remember the smell of his mother's perfume, how it surrounded him in a soft, scented cloud when she'd hugged him goodbye that night. He'd always loved it, that scent she only wore on special occasions. These days he couldn't stand the smell of violets, but he remembered when he'd loved it.
And his father, so happy and proud and excited that things were going so well, that his policies were going through and that he would likely be promoted to Grand Chancellor by the time of the next Eternity Ball. His parting words to Cyan were for him to have fun, with adamant orders not to sulk because he couldn't go. And Cyan had nodded and obeyed as best he could, sulking occasionally but mostly having fun playing his games.
His brother had been sulking over the mostly faded bruise Cyan had given him a few days before for being an obnoxious braggart. He and Cyan hadn't exchanged goodbyes; it had never been their style. Even at the end, when Cyan left, they hadn't said goodbye.
They'd been killed by long range Stunners, altered much as Cyan's currently was. Stunners were precisely that - they typically shocked their victims into a state of immobility. Standard stunners ranged from a mild 'sting' to a hit strong enough to knock you out, typically totaling five different levels of shock.
Cyan's was more powerful than that. The third level was enough to knock a target out cold, and it ranged up three extra notches - the last enough to kill a person. It had taken three years for him to acquire the licenses and permits to carry such a weapon, and that only because he was a Rehab Guard. No civilian could normally obtain such a powerful weapon. The long-range stunners used on his parents would not have even been sold to a Zero Class Guard.
Moreover, they never should have been permitted anywhere near the Palace of Eternity. Which meant that one of his parents' peers must have had a hand in it. But no one had ever been able to learn anything conclusive, and after a while the cases had been given up for lost.
Except by Jade.
The two had disagreed heatedly on the matter of revenge. Jade wanted revenge, badly.
So Jade went the route of their father; only twenty-six he had already been appointed Lower Chancellor of the Fourth Quadrant. In only a few more years he would undoubtedly be right where their father was when he was killed - High Chancellor. What he was up to, Cyan didn't know. He preferred it.
Cyan had opted out of revenge and left home, severing any connection between them. They'd not said goodbye when he left.
Turning onto his other side, Cyan forced away the unhappy thoughts. They'd each made their choices, and lived with them. He was happy, his parents would have to be content with that.
He only hoped that whatever Jade was up to, it wouldn't hurt too many people.
And he was sinking into gloom again. Standing, Cyan stretched and combed his fingers through his short hair. "Let's go exploring; there's got to be something I can do on this ship. Sitting still is going to drive me crazy."
Several minutes exploration later resulted in little more than a few dark glances and a growing need to locate the cafeteria. The ship was notably lacking in markers - probably to confuse possible intruders. Well, he was confused so the idea was clearly a sound one.
"Maybe I should just go back to my room…" On a whim he opened the next door he came across - and paused.
It was an exercise chamber. All the equipment had been stored, leaving the large floor open to the man currently shadow-boxing his way back and forth across it.
Faller.
Cyan stepped inside, intrigued. It wasn't often he came across someone who could fight with more than a Stunner or some other firearm. But Faller moved like it came as easily as breathing, swinging and kicking with fluidity enough to make water look stiff.
The first mate must have caught movement at the edge of his vision, because he abruptly halted and turned toward Cyan. "What do you want?"
"You look like you almost know what you're doing," Cyan said with a taunting grin. "Someone teach you a few parlor tricks?"
Faller snorted, raking his hair from his narrowed eyes. "I suppose you think you know better, Rehaber?"
"Please. I deal with worse than you on an hourly basis."
That earned him a sneer, "Yeah, but I'm not wearing a numbing collar or chains. And if you didn't notice, Rehab, you're missing all your pretty toys and keys. You can't just knock me out and lock me up."
"Is that a challenge?" Cyan asked lazily, though his eyes were bright with anticipation.
"You tell me, Rehab. You're the one that started this."
"Then most definitely yes. If you're up for it."
Faller grinned ferociously. "Oh, I'm up for it. Not often I get the chance to knock around a Rehaber. Get out here on the floor where I can kick you."
"We'll see who kicks who."
*~*~*~*
Cyan's chest rose and fell in time with his panting. He grinned across the long exercise chamber at Faller. Sweat soaked his thin black tank top, making it cling to his chest. "Not too shabby, I guess. You seem a little slow this morning."
Faller made a face and dropped his defensive stance. "That's enough for one day. I've got work to do."
"Yeah, yeah." Cyan relaxed his own stance and caught the towel thrown his way. It was his fifth day aboard the Dragonfly, and he and Faller - Lark Faller - had been sparring since Cyan's stumbling across the exercise chamber during his explorations the first day.
Einn snickered from where he stood on the side, "I've never had so much fun watching two men try to kill each other. It would probably be better if the two of you would learn to get along - but don't force it on my account."
His first mate didn't deign to answer, merely shot him a disgusted look before exiting the chamber.
The Captain sauntered lazily across the chamber to join Cyan, "What did I do with my mornings before you were around to harass my first mate. And you do it half naked, too. What ever did I do before you?"
Cyan rolled his eyes, "Well, the last day you lived without me was all of five days ago. I'm sure you can remember back that far, if you really try."
Einn made a show of struggling to summon the memories. "Nope, can't recall. Maybe I'll have better luck when your half-naked self leaves the room."
"Then I'll be happy to oblige," Cyan said, torn between amusement and exasperation.
"Don't hurry on my account."
"Oh, no. It's entirely on my own account, I assure you."
Einn laughed and followed him out of the room and through passageways back toward Cyan's room. "Are you always this standoffish when someone expresses an interest?"
"Only when I'm on business," Cyan slid him a sideways glance. "And I don't do Fornarians."
"Hmph. Just because you had one bad relationship--"
"That's the problem." Cyan stopped, humor fading. "I don't do flings."
Comprehension filled Einn's face, followed by disappointment. "That's a pity. I always forget you humans have a thing for permanency."
"Exactly." Cyan opened his door, pausing at the threshold. "Besides, Captain, when this is all over I go back to being a Guard. And Guards don't date criminals."
Einn shrugged, "Such a waste, you." His mischievous grin returned, "But I'm not giving up quite yet. Fornarians know stubbornness better than anyone. We've got a ways yet to go before we reach Kreska. We'll just see what happens."
With a sigh, Cyan stepped into his room and closed the door. Stripping off his pants, he dropped it along with his towel to the floor.
He stood in the shower, unmoving, for several minutes before finally moving mechanically to clean up.
Nearly a week into his strange trip and not much had really happened. The crew didn't like him, but he managed. He didn’t' wonder if the sparring matches with Faller had something to do with that.
That and the Captain was "smitten" with him.
It really was too bad that was a criminal, and Fornarian, and that he was technically on 'business.'
And he wasn't going to go there, not tonight.
Not ever.
Because Alice was sick and he had to reach Sean and now was most definitely not the time to admire the way Einn laughed, like it was the most natural sound for the Fornarian to make. Or the way he moved, slow and seemingly lazy - much in the way a cat often appeared lazy.
Well, it didn't matter. Sparring matches, food, otherwise he stayed in his room and plotted out exactly how he was going to greet Sean when he finally saw the bastard.
Kicking was tempting, but he thought he might just stick with a good old-fashioned right hook.
He just hoped Alice was doing all right. He'd been sorely tempted of late to call her, check on her…but it was simply too risky. There was no choice but to believe she was managing, patiently waiting for her son to return home.
"I'm not taking any more damned vacations," he muttered to himself as he dressed and sat down in a chair to eat the breakfast that someone had left for him, most likely in the hopes that he'd stay the hell out of the cafeteria.
"Alice sick, Sean long gone, the crew hates me and the Captain likes me," he stared miserably into his oatmeal. "No more fucking vacations."
Chapter Three
Merchant class star ship 00061225, the dragonfly
"There," Cyan said, restoring his pointcard to his wallet. "One million points. It'll be your fault if it gets traced."
"Please, we're pirates," Einn grinned. "No one'll know a thing."
Einn nodded from his seat overlooking the rest of the bridge. "Gents, say hello to our special guest - Cyan McCracken."
The crew just looked at him. There were roughly fifty pirates to Einn's crew, and ten of them maintained the bridge. Besides Cyan and Einn there were seven humans, one other Fornarian, a Sardoran - Cyan tried not to wince - and an almost insect-like creature bent over the navi-coms. Of the humans, four probably came from his own quadrant, the others had the reddish coloring of the first quad.
"Captain," the second-in-command spoke up, a human with the reddish skin of the first quadrant, his brown hair short and spiky, the In-Specs on his face hiding his green eyes. "What's going on here?"
"Mr. McCracken is paying us to escort him under greatest secrecy to Kreska." Einn looked at his second, "Do you have a problem with that, Mr. Faller."
"Yes," he replied bluntly. "We're pirates, not a transport service. Why does he need us to transport him?"
"We're getting a million points for it. That should be the end of the matter for you," Einn replied with finalty.
"Yes, sir." Faller grumbled. He looked at Cyan, "So what do you do for a living that you can just throw us a million points?"
Cyan grinned, "I gott'em at Rehab." He laughed as every head on the bridge turned to glare at him. Prisoners were 'in' Rehab, Guards were 'at.'
Einn whistled, "You're bolder than I thought. Or maybe dumber." He looked up at Cyan through his lashes, "And here I thought you got the money from your parents. You're just a Rehabilitator." He motioned to his men "You're probably not going to be well liked now. More than a few of us have comrades undergoing Rehabilitation."
"Not on my watch, unless they're particularly bloodthirsty."
Another whistle, "Sector Six, eh? My, my, what a specimen you are. And here I was thinking you were just a lazy Civi who happened to be good with a Stunner."
"Speaking of which," Cyan said, "Could I have my it back? It's custom made, I'd hate to lose it."
"Of course. You'll probably need it against some of my crew." Einn winked, "Though you can always come to me for protection."
"I told you no already," Cyan said with a laugh.
"We'll see." Einn stood, suddenly all business. "Faller, find McCracken's weapon and see that a room is prepared. Then let's get down to business; I want to sell our haul as quickly as possible, and we need to figure out the best route to Kreska."
"Aye, Captain" Faller said with resignation before signaling that Cyan should follow him.
In short order Cyan was alone in a small cabin, and he set his bags down with a faint thump before stretching out on the narrow bed with a soft sigh. "What are you doing?" he asked aloud. "If anyone figures out what you're playing out, you're going to wind up in Rehab when this is over."
Cyan turned on his side, tucking his arms under his head and closing his eyes. His thoughts drifted, from home to Alice to Sean to Einn, landing eventually on the one person he'd not thought about in years - his brother.
Thirteen. He'd been thirteen when his parents were assassinated at the annual Eternity Ball. Just three years too young to be allowed to attend it himself; his brother had been sixteen, and not once had he ceased bragging about how he was going and Cyan wasn't.
He could still remember the smell of his mother's perfume, how it surrounded him in a soft, scented cloud when she'd hugged him goodbye that night. He'd always loved it, that scent she only wore on special occasions. These days he couldn't stand the smell of violets, but he remembered when he'd loved it.
And his father, so happy and proud and excited that things were going so well, that his policies were going through and that he would likely be promoted to Grand Chancellor by the time of the next Eternity Ball. His parting words to Cyan were for him to have fun, with adamant orders not to sulk because he couldn't go. And Cyan had nodded and obeyed as best he could, sulking occasionally but mostly having fun playing his games.
His brother had been sulking over the mostly faded bruise Cyan had given him a few days before for being an obnoxious braggart. He and Cyan hadn't exchanged goodbyes; it had never been their style. Even at the end, when Cyan left, they hadn't said goodbye.
They'd been killed by long range Stunners, altered much as Cyan's currently was. Stunners were precisely that - they typically shocked their victims into a state of immobility. Standard stunners ranged from a mild 'sting' to a hit strong enough to knock you out, typically totaling five different levels of shock.
Cyan's was more powerful than that. The third level was enough to knock a target out cold, and it ranged up three extra notches - the last enough to kill a person. It had taken three years for him to acquire the licenses and permits to carry such a weapon, and that only because he was a Rehab Guard. No civilian could normally obtain such a powerful weapon. The long-range stunners used on his parents would not have even been sold to a Zero Class Guard.
Moreover, they never should have been permitted anywhere near the Palace of Eternity. Which meant that one of his parents' peers must have had a hand in it. But no one had ever been able to learn anything conclusive, and after a while the cases had been given up for lost.
Except by Jade.
The two had disagreed heatedly on the matter of revenge. Jade wanted revenge, badly.
So Jade went the route of their father; only twenty-six he had already been appointed Lower Chancellor of the Fourth Quadrant. In only a few more years he would undoubtedly be right where their father was when he was killed - High Chancellor. What he was up to, Cyan didn't know. He preferred it.
Cyan had opted out of revenge and left home, severing any connection between them. They'd not said goodbye when he left.
Turning onto his other side, Cyan forced away the unhappy thoughts. They'd each made their choices, and lived with them. He was happy, his parents would have to be content with that.
He only hoped that whatever Jade was up to, it wouldn't hurt too many people.
And he was sinking into gloom again. Standing, Cyan stretched and combed his fingers through his short hair. "Let's go exploring; there's got to be something I can do on this ship. Sitting still is going to drive me crazy."
Several minutes exploration later resulted in little more than a few dark glances and a growing need to locate the cafeteria. The ship was notably lacking in markers - probably to confuse possible intruders. Well, he was confused so the idea was clearly a sound one.
"Maybe I should just go back to my room…" On a whim he opened the next door he came across - and paused.
It was an exercise chamber. All the equipment had been stored, leaving the large floor open to the man currently shadow-boxing his way back and forth across it.
Faller.
Cyan stepped inside, intrigued. It wasn't often he came across someone who could fight with more than a Stunner or some other firearm. But Faller moved like it came as easily as breathing, swinging and kicking with fluidity enough to make water look stiff.
The first mate must have caught movement at the edge of his vision, because he abruptly halted and turned toward Cyan. "What do you want?"
"You look like you almost know what you're doing," Cyan said with a taunting grin. "Someone teach you a few parlor tricks?"
Faller snorted, raking his hair from his narrowed eyes. "I suppose you think you know better, Rehaber?"
"Please. I deal with worse than you on an hourly basis."
That earned him a sneer, "Yeah, but I'm not wearing a numbing collar or chains. And if you didn't notice, Rehab, you're missing all your pretty toys and keys. You can't just knock me out and lock me up."
"Is that a challenge?" Cyan asked lazily, though his eyes were bright with anticipation.
"You tell me, Rehab. You're the one that started this."
"Then most definitely yes. If you're up for it."
Faller grinned ferociously. "Oh, I'm up for it. Not often I get the chance to knock around a Rehaber. Get out here on the floor where I can kick you."
"We'll see who kicks who."
*~*~*~*
Cyan's chest rose and fell in time with his panting. He grinned across the long exercise chamber at Faller. Sweat soaked his thin black tank top, making it cling to his chest. "Not too shabby, I guess. You seem a little slow this morning."
Faller made a face and dropped his defensive stance. "That's enough for one day. I've got work to do."
"Yeah, yeah." Cyan relaxed his own stance and caught the towel thrown his way. It was his fifth day aboard the Dragonfly, and he and Faller - Lark Faller - had been sparring since Cyan's stumbling across the exercise chamber during his explorations the first day.
Einn snickered from where he stood on the side, "I've never had so much fun watching two men try to kill each other. It would probably be better if the two of you would learn to get along - but don't force it on my account."
His first mate didn't deign to answer, merely shot him a disgusted look before exiting the chamber.
The Captain sauntered lazily across the chamber to join Cyan, "What did I do with my mornings before you were around to harass my first mate. And you do it half naked, too. What ever did I do before you?"
Cyan rolled his eyes, "Well, the last day you lived without me was all of five days ago. I'm sure you can remember back that far, if you really try."
Einn made a show of struggling to summon the memories. "Nope, can't recall. Maybe I'll have better luck when your half-naked self leaves the room."
"Then I'll be happy to oblige," Cyan said, torn between amusement and exasperation.
"Don't hurry on my account."
"Oh, no. It's entirely on my own account, I assure you."
Einn laughed and followed him out of the room and through passageways back toward Cyan's room. "Are you always this standoffish when someone expresses an interest?"
"Only when I'm on business," Cyan slid him a sideways glance. "And I don't do Fornarians."
"Hmph. Just because you had one bad relationship--"
"That's the problem." Cyan stopped, humor fading. "I don't do flings."
Comprehension filled Einn's face, followed by disappointment. "That's a pity. I always forget you humans have a thing for permanency."
"Exactly." Cyan opened his door, pausing at the threshold. "Besides, Captain, when this is all over I go back to being a Guard. And Guards don't date criminals."
Einn shrugged, "Such a waste, you." His mischievous grin returned, "But I'm not giving up quite yet. Fornarians know stubbornness better than anyone. We've got a ways yet to go before we reach Kreska. We'll just see what happens."
With a sigh, Cyan stepped into his room and closed the door. Stripping off his pants, he dropped it along with his towel to the floor.
He stood in the shower, unmoving, for several minutes before finally moving mechanically to clean up.
Nearly a week into his strange trip and not much had really happened. The crew didn't like him, but he managed. He didn’t' wonder if the sparring matches with Faller had something to do with that.
That and the Captain was "smitten" with him.
It really was too bad that was a criminal, and Fornarian, and that he was technically on 'business.'
And he wasn't going to go there, not tonight.
Not ever.
Because Alice was sick and he had to reach Sean and now was most definitely not the time to admire the way Einn laughed, like it was the most natural sound for the Fornarian to make. Or the way he moved, slow and seemingly lazy - much in the way a cat often appeared lazy.
Well, it didn't matter. Sparring matches, food, otherwise he stayed in his room and plotted out exactly how he was going to greet Sean when he finally saw the bastard.
Kicking was tempting, but he thought he might just stick with a good old-fashioned right hook.
He just hoped Alice was doing all right. He'd been sorely tempted of late to call her, check on her…but it was simply too risky. There was no choice but to believe she was managing, patiently waiting for her son to return home.
"I'm not taking any more damned vacations," he muttered to himself as he dressed and sat down in a chair to eat the breakfast that someone had left for him, most likely in the hopes that he'd stay the hell out of the cafeteria.
"Alice sick, Sean long gone, the crew hates me and the Captain likes me," he stared miserably into his oatmeal. "No more fucking vacations."
no subject
Date: 2004-11-05 04:47 am (UTC)You rock.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-05 05:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-05 05:35 am (UTC)And I get to read it. And I love it so far <33333
no subject
Date: 2004-11-05 05:53 am (UTC)XD... Ooh... I am curious what exactly happened with his last relationship with a Fornarian... and about his brother; sounds like something particularly intriguing going on there.
Is this the fic you are doing for NaNo?
--> Oh, on a side note (since I seem to have so many of them), I did not get time to comment earlier on Embrace, but I just wanted to say that I am still as much in love with Aubrey and Ruthven as I was when you first released the story. Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2004-11-05 06:18 am (UTC)"Speaking of which," Cyan said, "Could I have my it back? It's custom made, I'd hate to lose it."
Delete the "my", I think?
"Do you have a problem with that, Mr. Faller."
I'm not sure if the fullstop at that point was intentional, since it could be taken to mean that it's one of those "there is no argument" statements, but after that Einn actually REPLIED to his second's question, so... Up to you, that one. Just wanted to point it out.
"We're getting a million points for it. That should be the end of the matter for you," Einn replied with finalty.
"finality"? (Or maybe my spelling sucks. o_o; I'm not actually sure.)
"Aye, Captain" Faller said with resignation before signaling that Cyan should follow him.
Missing punctuation after the Captain there, I think.
"What are you doing?" he asked aloud. "If anyone figures out what you're playing out, you're going to wind up in Rehab when this is over."
"playing /at/", I think, not "out"?
So Jade went the route of their father; only twenty-six [and] he had already been appointed Lower Chancellor of the Fourth Quadrant.
I think that might sound better with the [and] there.
They'd not said goodbye when he left.
Repitition there, I think. Although it /does/ add emphasis...
The Captain sauntered lazily across the chamber to join Cyan, "What did I do with my mornings before you were around to harass my first mate. And you do it half naked, too. What ever did I do before you?"
Question mark? Or just an idle statement? And should that be "whatever"? I don't actually know. Just asking.
He didn’t' wonder if the sparring matches with Faller had something to do with that.
Extra ' there. Also, what? *blinks* Rephrase, maybe? I think that's local slang maybe, and I'm a bit... lost there.
It really was too bad that [he] was a criminal, and Fornarian, and that he was technically on 'business.'
Think you're missing the [he].
Sparring matches, food, otherwise he stayed in his room and plotted out exactly how he was going to greet Sean when he finally saw the bastard.
This sentence makes me twitch, although I don't really know why. I know it's in the underlined-bit vicinity, but no more than that.
[/beta-reader]
Now.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *pouncetackleglompwuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuubs*
no subject
Date: 2004-11-05 02:36 pm (UTC)On the other side: Thank you! I absolutely love these two and it was nice to wake up to them. I mean, I had to wait out grammar before I could come back and finish it, but it was so much worth the wait.
It's about damn time, too...
no subject
Date: 2004-11-05 10:42 pm (UTC)Seriously, though, Faller must have personal reasons to dislike guards, because I can sense grudging respect, but he won't let it get past the animosity.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-05 11:43 pm (UTC)Hee hee.
Ah, Faller, Faller. He is going to be interesting.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-06 12:01 am (UTC)Ahhh! My brain! My Brain!
no subject
Date: 2004-11-06 12:04 am (UTC)Lol. Perhaps I'll have to do more with Faller than I originally thought. Or maybe I should just keep you wondering - more fun for me.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-07 12:14 am (UTC)Thankee muchly, Beta. These corrections have now been made to the main file.
Grammar Nazi-ing, part three
Date: 2006-10-19 05:35 pm (UTC)"Speaking of which," Cyan said, "Could I have my it back?
My it? ^^; Lose the my.
"Aye, Captain" Faller said with resignation
Still need a comma after Captain. :)
would not have even been sold to a Zero Class Guard.
I think 'even' should be moved to after 'sold'
They'd not said goodbye when he left.
You state this twice. About eight paragraphs apart. :)
Stripping off his pants, he dropped it along with his towel
pants is plural. ;) it = them
He didn’t' wonder if the sparring matches
Extra apostrophie
It really was too bad that was a criminal, and Fornarian
too bad that.. he? the man?
So much love for the banter. ^^ 'scuse me while I go down more asprin. x.x And apologies for any weird writing/editing-ness cause between the headache and the painkillers I know I'm not running at 100%. ^^;
Re: Grammar Nazi-ing, part three
Date: 2006-10-19 10:27 pm (UTC)Sweetheart, don't edit if you're feeling bad! This does not make the author happy!
Re: Grammar Nazi-ing, part three
Date: 2006-10-19 11:31 pm (UTC)