For Melayne Seahawk
Feb. 14th, 2005 12:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
maderrI have owed her this story for way too damn long. Never was I able to quite come up with a premise I liked. The original request was a short story about a guy who tries to get another guy to go to a dance with him, and woos him with roses. I am playing loose and fast with that, though not on purpose.
Melayne, I hope you approve. If not, lemme know and I'll try again.
First Rose
Cliff was grateful, for what had to be the millionth and first time, that he was good at keeping his emotions from his face. It was something he'd worked long and hard at, practiced over and over again in the mirror and in front of his parents (without their realizing, of course) until he had it down to an art.
Because if his emotions had been showing, it would have been perfectly obvious to the Jerk in front of him that he was taking his heart and snapping it into about fifty bajillion pieces and then throwing them down onto the floor of the crowded hallway.
"Cliff?" Jim was frowning.
"What? Oh, sorry. Yeah," Cliff shook off his thoughts. "Yeah, sure. Of course I'll give it to him."
Jim sighed in relief and then grinned. "You're the best." He waved and took off as the homeroom bell rang.
Fighting an urge to either scream or cry, Cliff turned around and went into his own homeroom class. Depositing his lime green book bag in his chair, he crossed to the other side of the room and stopped in front of Irwin.
Irwin stared at Cliff. "Need something?"
"From Jim, to you. Enjoy." He all but threw the bright red rose at Irwin, who looked startled and scrambled to catch the flower.
Cliff wished bitterly that Jim hadn't been so thoughtful as to remove the thorns. It So. Wasn't. Fair.
Life officially Sucked. S-U-C-K-E-D.
Cliff took his seat and banged his forehead against his desk. The other students barely spared him a glance, though one did mutter 'he's doing it again' to her girlfriend.
The teacher shook her head as she entered. "Cliff, please stop injuring yourself. The rest of you, stop talking until the announcements are over. You are supposed to listen to them, and that's difficult to manage if you're too busy listening to each other. Cliff, if you insist on concussing yourself to death then please wait until you are out of homeroom."
"Yes, Ms. Redmont." Cliff sat up with a sigh and pulled out his math book to finish his homework. Intro to trig wasn't until after lunch, but he had to finish Advanced Biology during lunch so he had to do trig now."
Second and Third Roses
Maybe he could get away with an insanity plea, if he killed Jim right now in a fit of rage. Plus he wasn't eighteen quite yet, so maybe it wouldn’t go on his permanent record?
"Come on, Cliff."
"Give them to him yourself."
Jim did that thing with his eyes that always drove Cliff insane. "Damn it. Fine. Give me the damn roses." Cliff snatched the two red roses from his hands and turned on his heel to stalk into third period English. He dropped the roses on Irwin's desk and kept walking to the back of the room.
Stupid Jim. Stupid Irwin. Stupid Valentine's Day. Angrily Cliff swiped his hair from this face, cursing himself for waking up early and forgetting to grab a band to pull it back. Maybe he should get it cut - but then his mom would be smug for the next month. 'Sides, he thought he looked good with long hair. It was the same color as his dad's, a really soft blonde-brown color his mom called "honey gold". Which was stupid but it was better than calling it blonde-brown. Of course it looked better if you had eyes like Jim's, which were a bright bright green and not stupid boring hazel, but Cliff took what he could get.
Argh. He was so damn mad at Jim. Too bad he didn't have a good reason to be mad at him, outside his own head.
His mom would say it served him right, for being so meek and mousy. It mad Cliff even angrier. But it was true; he had no one but himself to blame.
Gloomy and downcast, he watched as Irwin examined the roses with a small smile and positively beamed as he read the little note tied to the stem of one.
Irwin with his short, black hair and bright blue eyes behind too-big glasses. Irwin who had every teacher in school wrapped around his finger and was totally oblivious to that fact. He had a funny little laugh and looked like he was made to smile and never to frown, loved to read aloud and answer questions whenever teachers asked them - and not in a show-off sort of way. Irwin was just 100% schoolboy geek.
Cliff was mad about him. He wasn't crushing, he didn't like him, he was mad about him. He just didn't know what to do about it.
It shouldn't be that hard, to go up and ask if he'd like to go for pizza or something. He knew Irwin was into guys, had seen him once at the amusement park with a guy from a neighboring high school. And they were both geeks, of a sort. But Cliff was more the awkward shy clumsy better off with his mouth closed type of geek. Irwin was the kind of geek that could actually socialize and stuff. Kind of sucked.
And now STUPID JIM was hitting on him. That meant Cliff stood ZERO chance and man was Cliff going to…to…think black thoughts about Jim at home. Because man if there was someone the guys at school did not want to be forced into a competition against, it was Jim. Heartthrob Extraordinaire. And where had he gotten the stupid idea for the roses?
Because Cliff hadn't been thinking that would be a good idea. Hadn't. Hadn't. Hadn't.
If Jim made him give Irwin any more roses, hell would hath no fury.
"Cliff," his English teacher broke his thoughts. "Would you please read the opening paragraph for us?"
"Umm…yes, sir." Cliff scrambled to open his English book.
Fourth, Fifth, Sixth Roses
"Have I told you lately," Cliff said to Jim, "That I hate you?"
"Aww, now that's not very nice." Jim winked at him. He had fair, flawless skin, dark brown curls and the long lashes that girls had been known to kill for framing his bright green eyes. Cliff wanted to maim him. A lot. Once school was out? There would be no holding back.
"I’m not taking them. You want to do your thing with him, you give him the stupid flowers."
"These 'stupid flowers' cost me a good chunk of my allowance."
"Then you're as stupid as they are," Cliff said tartly. "Now leave me alone. I'm not your damn Cupid."
Jim just grinned. "Come on, please? My plan won't work if you don't help me out."
"Couldn’t you, oh I don't know, have asked me about this ahead of time."
"You would have said no," Jim said matter-of-factly. "Now come on, I've got class."
Cliff sighed, glared, and took the roses. "I hate you. I hate you I hate you I hate you."
"Love you too, man. Thanks a lot." He ruffled Cliff's hair and then dashed down the hallway to his class.
Flipping him off, Cliff then turned on his heel and made his way to the cafeteria.
Irwin only took a moment to find; he always sat with the same people at more or less the same table - sometimes a bunch of stupid freshmen took it - in the back of the cafeteria. Cliff shoved past students, holding the roses high so they wouldn't get crushed even though he wished desperately that he could just drop them to the ground and dance an Irish jig or six on them.
"Here," Cliff said. He ignored the curious looks of Irwin's friends, knowing what they were thinking and wishing they were right - that he was making a move. But he was too much of a wuss. Anyway, once they realized he was just Jim's messenger boy, they'd agree Jim was a much better catch.
He turned away before Irwin could ask him stupid questions that he didn't want to answer.
And when the hell had Jim started liking Irwin? The ass had never said a damned word and usually shutting him up was impossible when the idiot got excited about someone.
Stopping in the hallway, Cliff started beating his head against the brick wall. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…"
"You really should stop doing that," a girl named Candy from his homeroom interrupted his wussy attempts at suicide.
"What do you want?"
Candy beamed her happy, valedictorian smile and held out a small, bright pink card and box of those stupid hearts with messages on them. "Happy Valentine's Day!"
"Fuck you," Cliff turned on his heel and all but ran out of the cafeteria building. He made for his next class, thinking the blackest thoughts he could about romance and v-day and Jim and roses in the hopes that one of them would burst into flames and give him some satisfaction.
Preferably Jim, but he wasn’t going to be picky.
He stubbornly ignored the fact that he was just mad at himself. Though, no one would blame him. What was he supposed to do? Walk up and tell Irwin not to choose Jim because he was a smarmy, scheming lazy ass who wouldn't even deliver his own roses? That he should choose Cliff instead, because Cliff had loved him since forever and he'd thought of the roses first (but had been too chicken to actually give them to him).
Cliff snuck into the empty classroom where he had Advanced Bio for fourth period and pulled out his book to do the homework for the class, grateful for once that the stuff was hard enough he had to stop thinking about Irwin and stupid Jim.
Seventh, Eighth, Ninth Roses
"Why are you doing this? Since when have you had a thing for-" Cliff barely kept himself from saying 'my.' "Irwin? And why have you picked me for you damned messenger boy?"
"You're convenient. And I don't trust anyone else. Plus you have a lot of classes together."
Cliff glared. "I'm so happy to be of service to you. Do let me know if you need to be run over by a bus. I will be most happy to oblige."
Jim only laughed and handed over the three roses he was holding. "Thanks. And would you make sure you give them to him and don't throw them at him this time?"
"Picky, picky. At least he's getting the stupid things. What else do you want me to do? Read the note aloud? Maybe sing it? Want that to the tune of the Titanic song?"
"No!" Jim almost looked panicked. "Don't the read the note!"
Cliff rolled his eyes. "Believe me I won't. The very last thing I need is to read whatever stupid notes you're writing to your soon-to-be boyfriend."
"You sound awfully confident about my chances."
A snort of disbelief. "Jim, I have yet to see anyone turn you down flat. And that's when you're just being your usual aggravating self. The fact that you're romancing this guy guarantees he'll be yours for the next twenty gazillion years, give or take. It's a wonder he's not already molesting you." Unable to bear looking at him any longer, Cliff turned away and made a beeline for his classroom.
He was damned good at not showing what he felt on his face. It was something he had mastered even before he had started high school. He knew that no one could tell what he was thinking or feeling by looking at his face. And the most they ever got out of his tendency to try and bash his own head in was that he was being weird again.
But everything came out in his voice. He'd never been able to keep his voice flat, detached, void of feeling. And Jim could read him better than anyone, the jerk. So it probably wouldn't be long before Jim finally figured out why he was in such a pissy mood.
He should've just called in sick.
Cliff forced himself to look and act calm as he approached Irwin. "Here." He turned to walk away.
"Thank you, Cliff." Irwin smiled at him and Cliff felt torn between smiling back because Irwin had smiled at him and crying because he was just pleased to have the roses that Jim had been giving him all day.
He settled for a noncommittal shrug and moved to take his seat at the back of the room. Luckily their social studies teacher was more or less deaf and may as well be blind for all the attention he paid the class while he stood up front lecturing. It meant most of the class either napped or talked, and no one ever noticed that he spent all fifty minutes of class mooning over Irwin.
Though this time the mooning had to take turns with withering glares at the roses.
While he switched between mooning and glaring, his thoughts composed and then discarded a dozen different ways to tell Irwin to forget the Great Big Loser that was Jim and fall for him instead.
Of course, this would all be a lot easier if he really did hate Jim and was mad at him. But he knew he was just mad at himself. It wasn't Jim's fault he was so good at this stuff and Cliff utterly sucked at it.
Why was it so damned hard to just walk up and ask him out? He was already expecting a no, right? So Irwin would simply be meeting his expectations and Cliff could be done with the whole thing.
Except even thinking that he might say no made him feel sick.
He looked up at the clock, almost screaming in frustration when he saw there was still thirty minutes of class left. "I can make it, and then I can clobber Jim and feel a little bit better. Then I'll lock myself in my room and pretend that they're not going to be at the V-day dance tonight." Yeah, like he wouldn't be torturing himself with thoughts of that. It was a good thing he hadn't ever thought or dreamed or wished of going.
Not at all. Certainly not with Irwin. That was even more hopelessly wishful thinking than even he was used to indulging in.
Well, maybe a little bit. It would have been nice to dance with him.
Cliff started banging his head against the top of his desk. Nobody seemed concerned.
Tenth, Eleventh, Twelfth Roses
When the final bell finally rang, Cliff literally ran out. He was in the hallway before the bell had finished chiming and at his locker before other students started to pour into the hallway.
"Hey, Cliff."
"No," Cliff groaned and started banging his head into his locker. "School is over, there are no more roses."
"Wrong," Jim said cheerfully. "Three more, if you please."
"I don't please."
"Do it anyway or I'll tell mom you were out 'til midnight last night."
Cliff glared, "You're such a bitch."
"And that you were drinking."
"Deliver your own damn roses." Cliff yanked his locker open and began to throw some textbooks in and pull others out. He slammed his locker shut hard enough that several kids around them jumped.
Jim shook his head, "Please? I promise this is the last time you'll have to deliver roses or anything like it for me."
"Yeah, right. What do I have to do tomorrow? Chocolates?"
"I have no idea."
Cliff looked at him. "What the hell does that mean?"
"It means shut up and take the roses to him before I start telling mom what you do on the weekends."
"Yeah, because playing card games three houses down the street is so dangerous and criminal of me."
Jim smirked, "It is when the losers have to do shots."
"Shut up and go away before I'm forced to punch you."
"Then you'll take the roses to Irwin for me?"
Cliff glared, "Only if you swear you'll leave me alone about it after this."
"Yeah, yeah."
Still glaring - screw being expressionless, he wanted Jim to know he was DEAD when they got home - Cliff accepted the roses and then stalked off down the hallway.
Irwin, like the good, cute, adorable, endearing geek that he was, always spent some of his afternoons after school in the library. One of the few times Cliff had been brave enough to talk to him - gods why couldn't he always be that brave? - he'd learned that Irwin did it because with four siblings it was too noisy to get much studying done at home.
Sure enough, there he was in the far back corner of the library. You could only see him if you knew to look between the two last rows of nonfiction, all the way to the end where the librarians had stuck a ratty old table that they couldn’t throw away but didn't want ruining the image of the rest of the library.
"Here," Cliff said in what he hoped was a flat tone, though it sounded kinda frustrated and tired to his ears. "I guess by this point you know who they're from."
Irwin smiled at him again and stood up, but he didn't take the roses. "A lot of the girls have been jealous, seeing all the roses I've been getting. But I can kind of see why they like getting them, though I do feel kind of silly."
"Yeah, it is kind of corny." Cliff's brain was torn between telling him to run like hell and stay and chat. 'Now's your chance!' part of him kept screaming - but the other half pointed out it was fruitless to compete with his oh-so-smooth brother.
"You don't like roses?" Irwin asked.
"No, that's not it." Cliff bit his lip and settled on a shrug. "It's a cool kind of corny. It just seems a weird thing for the--for Jim to do."
Irwin smiled again.
Cliff knew that smile. It was a 'I know something you don't' kind of smile. "What?" He frowned, "Is Jim up to some prank?"
"Sort of," Irwin said. His smile didn't fade. "Maybe you should read the notes he sent along with the flowers."
"No, thank you." That was the last thing he wanted. No way did he want to know how his brother felt about Irwin. He was in enough pain as was, thanks very much.
"I really think you should," Irwin said. "Please?"
That was so. Not. Fair. Would the day ever end or was it determined to torture him to death? Like he had to ask. "Fine. Whatever."
"Cool," Irwin smiled - he really needed to stop doing that because it was hard enough to think straight as was - and handed over the notes that had been attached to each delivery of roses.
Paper that Cliff recognized as being their mom's good stationary. Well, if nothing else he'd get the satisfaction of seeing Jim skinned alive. Any silver lining would do.
He unfolded the first note. And didn't know what to say or do, except read the other three.
Then he read them all again. "Is this…is this for real?" his voice was shaky and he hated it but there was nothing he could do about it.
"Yes?" Irwin said, smile more hesitant than it had been before. "Unless he's seriously mistaken?"
Cliff didn't know where he found the guts to speak, to say what he'd never been able to say before. "No…I've always liked you." Somehow it didn't seem right to say 'I've always been mad about you.' "I just…"
"Would you like to go the dance with me?" Irwin asked in a rush, as if he was scared he wouldn't finish saying it if he didn't say it as quickly as he possibly could.
Cliff did the only thing he could manage. "Huh? What? Are you for real?"
"Is that a yes or a no?"
"How about a 'hell yes'?" Cliff asked, then turned beet red.
Irwin laughed. "Cool." He held a hand out to finally take the roses that Cliff still held, and freed the note tied to one stem. "I think this one is for you."
Cliff took the final note, wincing visibly.
You owe me big time. For starters, don't tell mom I took her paper.
~Jim
Melayne, I hope you approve. If not, lemme know and I'll try again.
A Dozen Roses
First Rose
Cliff was grateful, for what had to be the millionth and first time, that he was good at keeping his emotions from his face. It was something he'd worked long and hard at, practiced over and over again in the mirror and in front of his parents (without their realizing, of course) until he had it down to an art.
Because if his emotions had been showing, it would have been perfectly obvious to the Jerk in front of him that he was taking his heart and snapping it into about fifty bajillion pieces and then throwing them down onto the floor of the crowded hallway.
"Cliff?" Jim was frowning.
"What? Oh, sorry. Yeah," Cliff shook off his thoughts. "Yeah, sure. Of course I'll give it to him."
Jim sighed in relief and then grinned. "You're the best." He waved and took off as the homeroom bell rang.
Fighting an urge to either scream or cry, Cliff turned around and went into his own homeroom class. Depositing his lime green book bag in his chair, he crossed to the other side of the room and stopped in front of Irwin.
Irwin stared at Cliff. "Need something?"
"From Jim, to you. Enjoy." He all but threw the bright red rose at Irwin, who looked startled and scrambled to catch the flower.
Cliff wished bitterly that Jim hadn't been so thoughtful as to remove the thorns. It So. Wasn't. Fair.
Life officially Sucked. S-U-C-K-E-D.
Cliff took his seat and banged his forehead against his desk. The other students barely spared him a glance, though one did mutter 'he's doing it again' to her girlfriend.
The teacher shook her head as she entered. "Cliff, please stop injuring yourself. The rest of you, stop talking until the announcements are over. You are supposed to listen to them, and that's difficult to manage if you're too busy listening to each other. Cliff, if you insist on concussing yourself to death then please wait until you are out of homeroom."
"Yes, Ms. Redmont." Cliff sat up with a sigh and pulled out his math book to finish his homework. Intro to trig wasn't until after lunch, but he had to finish Advanced Biology during lunch so he had to do trig now."
Second and Third Roses
Maybe he could get away with an insanity plea, if he killed Jim right now in a fit of rage. Plus he wasn't eighteen quite yet, so maybe it wouldn’t go on his permanent record?
"Come on, Cliff."
"Give them to him yourself."
Jim did that thing with his eyes that always drove Cliff insane. "Damn it. Fine. Give me the damn roses." Cliff snatched the two red roses from his hands and turned on his heel to stalk into third period English. He dropped the roses on Irwin's desk and kept walking to the back of the room.
Stupid Jim. Stupid Irwin. Stupid Valentine's Day. Angrily Cliff swiped his hair from this face, cursing himself for waking up early and forgetting to grab a band to pull it back. Maybe he should get it cut - but then his mom would be smug for the next month. 'Sides, he thought he looked good with long hair. It was the same color as his dad's, a really soft blonde-brown color his mom called "honey gold". Which was stupid but it was better than calling it blonde-brown. Of course it looked better if you had eyes like Jim's, which were a bright bright green and not stupid boring hazel, but Cliff took what he could get.
Argh. He was so damn mad at Jim. Too bad he didn't have a good reason to be mad at him, outside his own head.
His mom would say it served him right, for being so meek and mousy. It mad Cliff even angrier. But it was true; he had no one but himself to blame.
Gloomy and downcast, he watched as Irwin examined the roses with a small smile and positively beamed as he read the little note tied to the stem of one.
Irwin with his short, black hair and bright blue eyes behind too-big glasses. Irwin who had every teacher in school wrapped around his finger and was totally oblivious to that fact. He had a funny little laugh and looked like he was made to smile and never to frown, loved to read aloud and answer questions whenever teachers asked them - and not in a show-off sort of way. Irwin was just 100% schoolboy geek.
Cliff was mad about him. He wasn't crushing, he didn't like him, he was mad about him. He just didn't know what to do about it.
It shouldn't be that hard, to go up and ask if he'd like to go for pizza or something. He knew Irwin was into guys, had seen him once at the amusement park with a guy from a neighboring high school. And they were both geeks, of a sort. But Cliff was more the awkward shy clumsy better off with his mouth closed type of geek. Irwin was the kind of geek that could actually socialize and stuff. Kind of sucked.
And now STUPID JIM was hitting on him. That meant Cliff stood ZERO chance and man was Cliff going to…to…think black thoughts about Jim at home. Because man if there was someone the guys at school did not want to be forced into a competition against, it was Jim. Heartthrob Extraordinaire. And where had he gotten the stupid idea for the roses?
Because Cliff hadn't been thinking that would be a good idea. Hadn't. Hadn't. Hadn't.
If Jim made him give Irwin any more roses, hell would hath no fury.
"Cliff," his English teacher broke his thoughts. "Would you please read the opening paragraph for us?"
"Umm…yes, sir." Cliff scrambled to open his English book.
Fourth, Fifth, Sixth Roses
"Have I told you lately," Cliff said to Jim, "That I hate you?"
"Aww, now that's not very nice." Jim winked at him. He had fair, flawless skin, dark brown curls and the long lashes that girls had been known to kill for framing his bright green eyes. Cliff wanted to maim him. A lot. Once school was out? There would be no holding back.
"I’m not taking them. You want to do your thing with him, you give him the stupid flowers."
"These 'stupid flowers' cost me a good chunk of my allowance."
"Then you're as stupid as they are," Cliff said tartly. "Now leave me alone. I'm not your damn Cupid."
Jim just grinned. "Come on, please? My plan won't work if you don't help me out."
"Couldn’t you, oh I don't know, have asked me about this ahead of time."
"You would have said no," Jim said matter-of-factly. "Now come on, I've got class."
Cliff sighed, glared, and took the roses. "I hate you. I hate you I hate you I hate you."
"Love you too, man. Thanks a lot." He ruffled Cliff's hair and then dashed down the hallway to his class.
Flipping him off, Cliff then turned on his heel and made his way to the cafeteria.
Irwin only took a moment to find; he always sat with the same people at more or less the same table - sometimes a bunch of stupid freshmen took it - in the back of the cafeteria. Cliff shoved past students, holding the roses high so they wouldn't get crushed even though he wished desperately that he could just drop them to the ground and dance an Irish jig or six on them.
"Here," Cliff said. He ignored the curious looks of Irwin's friends, knowing what they were thinking and wishing they were right - that he was making a move. But he was too much of a wuss. Anyway, once they realized he was just Jim's messenger boy, they'd agree Jim was a much better catch.
He turned away before Irwin could ask him stupid questions that he didn't want to answer.
And when the hell had Jim started liking Irwin? The ass had never said a damned word and usually shutting him up was impossible when the idiot got excited about someone.
Stopping in the hallway, Cliff started beating his head against the brick wall. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…"
"You really should stop doing that," a girl named Candy from his homeroom interrupted his wussy attempts at suicide.
"What do you want?"
Candy beamed her happy, valedictorian smile and held out a small, bright pink card and box of those stupid hearts with messages on them. "Happy Valentine's Day!"
"Fuck you," Cliff turned on his heel and all but ran out of the cafeteria building. He made for his next class, thinking the blackest thoughts he could about romance and v-day and Jim and roses in the hopes that one of them would burst into flames and give him some satisfaction.
Preferably Jim, but he wasn’t going to be picky.
He stubbornly ignored the fact that he was just mad at himself. Though, no one would blame him. What was he supposed to do? Walk up and tell Irwin not to choose Jim because he was a smarmy, scheming lazy ass who wouldn't even deliver his own roses? That he should choose Cliff instead, because Cliff had loved him since forever and he'd thought of the roses first (but had been too chicken to actually give them to him).
Cliff snuck into the empty classroom where he had Advanced Bio for fourth period and pulled out his book to do the homework for the class, grateful for once that the stuff was hard enough he had to stop thinking about Irwin and stupid Jim.
Seventh, Eighth, Ninth Roses
"Why are you doing this? Since when have you had a thing for-" Cliff barely kept himself from saying 'my.' "Irwin? And why have you picked me for you damned messenger boy?"
"You're convenient. And I don't trust anyone else. Plus you have a lot of classes together."
Cliff glared. "I'm so happy to be of service to you. Do let me know if you need to be run over by a bus. I will be most happy to oblige."
Jim only laughed and handed over the three roses he was holding. "Thanks. And would you make sure you give them to him and don't throw them at him this time?"
"Picky, picky. At least he's getting the stupid things. What else do you want me to do? Read the note aloud? Maybe sing it? Want that to the tune of the Titanic song?"
"No!" Jim almost looked panicked. "Don't the read the note!"
Cliff rolled his eyes. "Believe me I won't. The very last thing I need is to read whatever stupid notes you're writing to your soon-to-be boyfriend."
"You sound awfully confident about my chances."
A snort of disbelief. "Jim, I have yet to see anyone turn you down flat. And that's when you're just being your usual aggravating self. The fact that you're romancing this guy guarantees he'll be yours for the next twenty gazillion years, give or take. It's a wonder he's not already molesting you." Unable to bear looking at him any longer, Cliff turned away and made a beeline for his classroom.
He was damned good at not showing what he felt on his face. It was something he had mastered even before he had started high school. He knew that no one could tell what he was thinking or feeling by looking at his face. And the most they ever got out of his tendency to try and bash his own head in was that he was being weird again.
But everything came out in his voice. He'd never been able to keep his voice flat, detached, void of feeling. And Jim could read him better than anyone, the jerk. So it probably wouldn't be long before Jim finally figured out why he was in such a pissy mood.
He should've just called in sick.
Cliff forced himself to look and act calm as he approached Irwin. "Here." He turned to walk away.
"Thank you, Cliff." Irwin smiled at him and Cliff felt torn between smiling back because Irwin had smiled at him and crying because he was just pleased to have the roses that Jim had been giving him all day.
He settled for a noncommittal shrug and moved to take his seat at the back of the room. Luckily their social studies teacher was more or less deaf and may as well be blind for all the attention he paid the class while he stood up front lecturing. It meant most of the class either napped or talked, and no one ever noticed that he spent all fifty minutes of class mooning over Irwin.
Though this time the mooning had to take turns with withering glares at the roses.
While he switched between mooning and glaring, his thoughts composed and then discarded a dozen different ways to tell Irwin to forget the Great Big Loser that was Jim and fall for him instead.
Of course, this would all be a lot easier if he really did hate Jim and was mad at him. But he knew he was just mad at himself. It wasn't Jim's fault he was so good at this stuff and Cliff utterly sucked at it.
Why was it so damned hard to just walk up and ask him out? He was already expecting a no, right? So Irwin would simply be meeting his expectations and Cliff could be done with the whole thing.
Except even thinking that he might say no made him feel sick.
He looked up at the clock, almost screaming in frustration when he saw there was still thirty minutes of class left. "I can make it, and then I can clobber Jim and feel a little bit better. Then I'll lock myself in my room and pretend that they're not going to be at the V-day dance tonight." Yeah, like he wouldn't be torturing himself with thoughts of that. It was a good thing he hadn't ever thought or dreamed or wished of going.
Not at all. Certainly not with Irwin. That was even more hopelessly wishful thinking than even he was used to indulging in.
Well, maybe a little bit. It would have been nice to dance with him.
Cliff started banging his head against the top of his desk. Nobody seemed concerned.
Tenth, Eleventh, Twelfth Roses
When the final bell finally rang, Cliff literally ran out. He was in the hallway before the bell had finished chiming and at his locker before other students started to pour into the hallway.
"Hey, Cliff."
"No," Cliff groaned and started banging his head into his locker. "School is over, there are no more roses."
"Wrong," Jim said cheerfully. "Three more, if you please."
"I don't please."
"Do it anyway or I'll tell mom you were out 'til midnight last night."
Cliff glared, "You're such a bitch."
"And that you were drinking."
"Deliver your own damn roses." Cliff yanked his locker open and began to throw some textbooks in and pull others out. He slammed his locker shut hard enough that several kids around them jumped.
Jim shook his head, "Please? I promise this is the last time you'll have to deliver roses or anything like it for me."
"Yeah, right. What do I have to do tomorrow? Chocolates?"
"I have no idea."
Cliff looked at him. "What the hell does that mean?"
"It means shut up and take the roses to him before I start telling mom what you do on the weekends."
"Yeah, because playing card games three houses down the street is so dangerous and criminal of me."
Jim smirked, "It is when the losers have to do shots."
"Shut up and go away before I'm forced to punch you."
"Then you'll take the roses to Irwin for me?"
Cliff glared, "Only if you swear you'll leave me alone about it after this."
"Yeah, yeah."
Still glaring - screw being expressionless, he wanted Jim to know he was DEAD when they got home - Cliff accepted the roses and then stalked off down the hallway.
Irwin, like the good, cute, adorable, endearing geek that he was, always spent some of his afternoons after school in the library. One of the few times Cliff had been brave enough to talk to him - gods why couldn't he always be that brave? - he'd learned that Irwin did it because with four siblings it was too noisy to get much studying done at home.
Sure enough, there he was in the far back corner of the library. You could only see him if you knew to look between the two last rows of nonfiction, all the way to the end where the librarians had stuck a ratty old table that they couldn’t throw away but didn't want ruining the image of the rest of the library.
"Here," Cliff said in what he hoped was a flat tone, though it sounded kinda frustrated and tired to his ears. "I guess by this point you know who they're from."
Irwin smiled at him again and stood up, but he didn't take the roses. "A lot of the girls have been jealous, seeing all the roses I've been getting. But I can kind of see why they like getting them, though I do feel kind of silly."
"Yeah, it is kind of corny." Cliff's brain was torn between telling him to run like hell and stay and chat. 'Now's your chance!' part of him kept screaming - but the other half pointed out it was fruitless to compete with his oh-so-smooth brother.
"You don't like roses?" Irwin asked.
"No, that's not it." Cliff bit his lip and settled on a shrug. "It's a cool kind of corny. It just seems a weird thing for the--for Jim to do."
Irwin smiled again.
Cliff knew that smile. It was a 'I know something you don't' kind of smile. "What?" He frowned, "Is Jim up to some prank?"
"Sort of," Irwin said. His smile didn't fade. "Maybe you should read the notes he sent along with the flowers."
"No, thank you." That was the last thing he wanted. No way did he want to know how his brother felt about Irwin. He was in enough pain as was, thanks very much.
"I really think you should," Irwin said. "Please?"
That was so. Not. Fair. Would the day ever end or was it determined to torture him to death? Like he had to ask. "Fine. Whatever."
"Cool," Irwin smiled - he really needed to stop doing that because it was hard enough to think straight as was - and handed over the notes that had been attached to each delivery of roses.
Paper that Cliff recognized as being their mom's good stationary. Well, if nothing else he'd get the satisfaction of seeing Jim skinned alive. Any silver lining would do.
He unfolded the first note. And didn't know what to say or do, except read the other three.
Then he read them all again. "Is this…is this for real?" his voice was shaky and he hated it but there was nothing he could do about it.
"Yes?" Irwin said, smile more hesitant than it had been before. "Unless he's seriously mistaken?"
Cliff didn't know where he found the guts to speak, to say what he'd never been able to say before. "No…I've always liked you." Somehow it didn't seem right to say 'I've always been mad about you.' "I just…"
"Would you like to go the dance with me?" Irwin asked in a rush, as if he was scared he wouldn't finish saying it if he didn't say it as quickly as he possibly could.
Cliff did the only thing he could manage. "Huh? What? Are you for real?"
"Is that a yes or a no?"
"How about a 'hell yes'?" Cliff asked, then turned beet red.
Irwin laughed. "Cool." He held a hand out to finally take the roses that Cliff still held, and freed the note tied to one stem. "I think this one is for you."
Cliff took the final note, wincing visibly.
You owe me big time. For starters, don't tell mom I took her paper.
~Jim
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Date: 2005-02-14 05:50 am (UTC)I want to note that I especially liked the little touches like "he's doing it again" at the beginning when Cliff's banging his head into his desk, and Jim's note at the end, 'don't tell mom I took her paper'. It really made the story seem *real*, and wonderful, and - well. I loved it. As you probably noticed. ;)
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Date: 2005-02-14 05:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-14 06:06 am (UTC)dammit... i need one of htose... >
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Date: 2005-02-14 06:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-14 07:16 am (UTC)May I point out just one tiny thing? In the beginning, at the paragraph taht says, "Jim sighed in relief and then grinned. "You're the best." Irwin waved and took off as the homeroom bell rang" do you mean that Jim waved and took off? (Okay, you can shoot me for looking a gift horse in the mouth now.)
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Date: 2005-02-14 08:33 am (UTC)^_^
Date: 2005-02-14 10:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-14 01:08 pm (UTC)Heh. COnsidering the screen was turning blurry while I typed, I'm surprised that's the only glaring mistake I made. Lemme fix that up.
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Date: 2005-02-14 01:34 pm (UTC)hugs and kisses
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Date: 2005-02-14 01:38 pm (UTC)Now I remeber why V-day isn't a total waste *cuddles boys*
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Date: 2005-02-14 02:41 pm (UTC)Hearts, Meggie!
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Date: 2005-02-14 02:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-14 02:52 pm (UTC)I know, I thought I'd finally fixed them all. Drat it all.
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Date: 2005-02-14 02:53 pm (UTC)*flying tackle glomps*
Date: 2005-02-14 05:06 pm (UTC)Seriously, I love his frustration and his thoughts on how his brother is most certianly going to be the one that Irwin is going to want and how he doesn't stand a chance. And I love, love, love the way he put himself and Irwin into two seperate categories of geek. <<333!!! Too, too perfect. I loved the head banging, and the death threats that he doesn't mean towards Jim and the frustration over not having worked up the courage before all this to simply ask Irwin out.
You rock. :3
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Date: 2005-02-14 05:54 pm (UTC)Thank you thank you ^_^ I figured it would be pretty easy to guess what Jim was doing, but I didn't think anyone would mind.
Heh, I got the head thing from my brother - he tends to do it when he's *really* frustrated.
Thanks for reading!
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Date: 2005-02-14 05:55 pm (UTC)Heh. Good to know I can still compete agains whatever manga it is you've been spazzing over. You two are hilarious.
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Date: 2005-02-14 05:55 pm (UTC)Yeah, I know. My brother is a peach, but I think he'd be more likely to just mock me for being silent.
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Date: 2005-02-14 05:56 pm (UTC)^_^ Hope you weren't up too late. I'd feel bad if you started your week tired.
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Date: 2005-02-14 05:56 pm (UTC)It's more fun to sit back and watch all the couples scramble for gifts. I sort of like being single on V-day.
Re: ^_^
Date: 2005-02-14 05:57 pm (UTC)I'm glad you liked it ^_^ Happy Valentine's Day!
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Date: 2005-02-14 05:57 pm (UTC)Not as cute as KyleI try.
Re: *flying tackle glomps*
Date: 2005-02-14 06:02 pm (UTC)It's a wonder your husband lets you read my stories, what with all the offers to have babies that go flying ^_~
This story literally came out of nowhere. I was writing about Knights, seahawk said something and all of a sudden these three go nuts. But it was insanely fun. I'm glad it seems to have worked, I was afraid it would be too brief or vague. I worried for nothing.
*glompsyou* Thanks, Sky! ^_^
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Date: 2005-02-14 06:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-14 06:19 pm (UTC)Ah, brothers. I do think I'd be much sadder in life if I did not have one.
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Date: 2005-02-14 06:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-14 07:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-14 08:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-14 11:07 pm (UTC)<-- goes off to lalaland. XP.
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Date: 2005-02-15 01:57 am (UTC)[This isn't at all how it worked in real life (since the request was loosely based on RL), but I like yours better. :)]
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Date: 2005-02-15 02:17 am (UTC)~Celebriël