Thoughtful fangirling - Tsubasa

[maderr]

I'll admit straight up that I'm a *huge* fangirl of Kuro/Fai. That aside, I love Tsubasa to bits. I would go on about that, but this post is more my thoughts on Fai



Okay. So we all get the "Fai is badass, acts like an idiot, is running for his life from Ashura."

I'll make note here I've only read up to volume six (in english) and though I read many a (bad) fic I don't really know any spoilers beyond that (nor do I mind being informed, the next volume doesn't come out 'til october *sigh* and I get sick of waiting through the two month gaps).

But volume six was interesting - not only because of the profusion of slashy undertones b/t Kurogane and Fai (and I'm totally not imagining things).

I was largely concerned with Fai, and the scene in the bar. My impression, up 'til that point, was that Fai really was running in fear - though you can also see a deep melancholy to it. But the bar scene, where he gets all sad listening to her song? And tells Kurogane "I was a guy who always waited for the one who would take me along."

Which is an interesting angle and one I'm surprised I've never seen portrayed in fics (and granted a lot have only now read as much as me, but I know bunches of them had the scanlations well before it got licensed so they're way up to speed). Nearly every Fandom Fai I've read, OC or otherwise, portrays silly, goofy, runnig for his life and won't use magic not matter what Fai. But not this sort of sad, forlorn Fai. That's depressing, because it lends something more to his whole running away thing - it makes me think he's finally given up. Kuro said something similiar earlier in the book - that he loathes guys who have lives but don't live them. Again with the giving up. Fai's totally given up on living, on hoping. He's running from Ashura, from what he did...and probably from what he always hoped for but never got. I want to see more of this is fiction; it's such a cool angle to work from. Why was he the sort that always waited? What kept him from simpyl up and leaving? Fai more or less stated that he wanted a prince charming (slashy snerking aside...) - why? He's obviously capable of kicking everyone's ass and then some. Confident, capable - why the waiting? Why the giving up (though I feel "Ashura" is the answer there) ?

I'm not explaining myself well, I think.

Anyway, that's my scary over-obsessive fangirling for the week. I'll stop over analyzing and attempting to explain myself now. Now to go read volume six again.