Bus story, and oh it's a gem

[maderr]

So.

There's this crazy lady I see from time to time. Not often, typically she takes an earlier bus (that I used to take, where I obviously saw her more often). Typically I sit toward the middle of the bus, well away from the seats meant for the elderly and all. Bus was crowded, though, so I took one of those seats. This woman is interesting. She's always jerking around, wears a scarf over her head so you can't see a thing of her hair and all (but, not in the muslim fashion, more like just plain old school, if you know what I mean). Always has lipstick on -- bright red, and smeared over her lips and far more besides. And, because it's sort of relevent to this tale, she's African American. I've always seen her talking to herself, but was always too far away to hear what she said.

First off, the bitch touched me. I took note when she sat down next to me, but beyond that just didn't care - I've sat next to worse, or so I thought at the time. She briefly grabbed my elbow, though. Pretty firm grip, and that drew me from my book. About a minute later this guy gets on the bus -- nice guy, also African American, seems like he's a college student or something. She starts yelling at him to get out of her (something) space (could never make out the word). He looks confused for a minute, then just tries to laugh it off, say he's not in the way or anything, not trying to be anyway.

Then she says "Get out of my (something) space, nigger. You up in my space, nigger, get out the way. Go home, nigger, find you a woman or something." He was pretty cool, just laughed it off and shook his head and back away and all. Finally a seat opened up, so he was able to get away. Me and this other girl just looked at each other, sort of smiling ruefully, you know? And I caught the guy's eye, he just shook his head.

So, matter over. Right?

Ahahahaha.

My stop was due soon, so I half turned in my seat so I could be braced to pull the cord. Then she started in on me. "Get your arm off my chair. Get your arm off my chair. You go home to your man. Get a penis stuck up in you." Then she kept rambling about women only being good for sex and babies and stuff, and I got off the bus attempting not to laugh myself to death.

Never a dull moment, friends.

Comments

[sixpence1323.livejournal.com]

Crazy bus ladies are always a source of great amusement to me. One tried to curse at me in Spanish - I don't think she counted on a little white girl knowing Spanish to the point of near-fluency. Heh.

ZOMG - the part with the babies and the stuck up in you- *headdesk*

[mikichan.livejournal.com]

You realize the next time I see you I am going to have to tell you to go get a penis stuck up in you HA HA HA HA HA

[hayama-sb.livejournal.com]

I've got a penis that wants to be stuck up in you!

[alixkat.livejournal.com]

That's gold.

[misagoddess.livejournal.com]

The penis line was a classic. I used to ride the bus and there was a crazy old lady on mine as well. She had Tourette's so we were mostly treated to randomly shouted out expletives.

I almost miss it (the bus, not the lady).

[zizzo-no-ai.livejournal.com]

There is a woman almost exactly like this- minus the headgear- who wanders vaguely around our shopping arcade at all times of day. She once accosted a friend of mine to ask him How many girls he'd "used" that week and "aren't secondary schoolers such great sluts?"

And now we can continue the ever-living argument of the greater evil; racism or sexism? :B