On Desk Porn

[maderr]

Now, there is nothing wrong at all with the old he cleared the desk with one sweep of his arm, knocking away everything covering the desk, and bent his lover over it, whispering obscenties that could have been either threat or promise but, me being me, I always wonder who has to clean all that shit up. Man, I've accidentally done that before (just the knocking off part, not the sex part) and let me tell you, not fun. Took for fucking ever to sort out the bloody papers.

So, I always want to see the clean up drabble. For some reason, it makes me giggle. Yay sex! followed by Goddamn it! February's billing is covered in spunk. This is your fault, not mine, I'm going to kill you!



This is why no one should give me the kind of job where I can zone out for 98% of it. I never think about intelligent things, and I can never explain why I'm grinning and/or snickering...

Comments

[theotherdibbler.livejournal.com]

*snerk*

[adyuh12.livejournal.com]

you are freaking perfect... I would love to read that drabb,,, I would laugh my head off for days...

[evilgeniuskoji.livejournal.com]

Oh...oh my. -dies-

Damn you for sending the plotbunny this way!

[hel-cat69.livejournal.com]

Why did I pick this job?

"Because your other choices were a waitress or a glorified full time babysitter."

OK, but this was not part of the job description.

"Picking up after other people?"

But it didn't say I had to clean up after Mr. Sable and his other half before they moved on to the bedroom!!!

"Let me guess; it was the desk."

Yes the desk. Now there are papers everywhere, I don't know what important or not and half of it is covered in sweat and spunk.

"Too Much info, Sarah"

You were the one who asked.

Re: Damn you for sending the plotbunny this way!

[hel-cat69.livejournal.com]

"...OK you got me there. What's for dinner?"

Take-out or pizza?

"Pizza. It's been a shitty day and the Chinese place gave me diarrhea last time."

OK. See you when you get back.

"Bye."

[shattereternity.livejournal.com]

and that leads to the whole clearing of the dinner table cliche......i've always wondered how they dealt with broken dishes and splattered food on the floor XD

[spy-c.livejournal.com]

lol

Now, I have this Matchmaker image of those two after the sex in Joss' office. They do seem to like to use that desk.

J: All my files are completely mixed up now!

S: Who is this that likes to be tied down and spanked?

J: You are not suppose to be reading that!

S: *smirk* Care to try out this one's fantasy. I would love to tie you up.

J: *glare*

[aggybird.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahahaha, I <3 you so hard. Where's the fuckin' drabble, dude? Cocktease!

[kalldoro.livejournal.com]

*laughs* I've thought of that many times, I would love a drabble like that. :D

[shiyuri-say.livejournal.com]

LOL. Good point. :))

It's like action movie. All that car chase, gun fight, blowing, breaking, smashing, etc. are fun to watch, but how about the entailed paperwork? Wouldn't want to see that pile, yeah?

[newtypeshadow.livejournal.com]

ROFL

This is so true! As much fun as spontaneous desk sex is to read, I always wince when the papers and desk stuff fly everywhere.

...I agree. There should be fic for this.

[charisstoma.livejournal.com]

Makes you understand the usage of the spindle or whatever they call the spiky thing that you impale papers/bills on. In a pinch you could also use it to kill someone in the study and Colonel Mustard could watch.
I've also always wondered about the whole smashing dishes in a fit of rage thing. Someone has to clean that up and then too, you are out the dishes. Most inconvenient. Paper plates just lack.
But oh, the desk scene was very ..moving .. with just the right blend of humor after. Chris and Sable in Chris' office maybe? Please.

[marasmine.livejournal.com]

I think it is mean to leave vicious plot bunnies like that just laying around where anyone can trip over them... 800+ words so far and I'm going to dump a copy in here when I've done! Mutter.

Working Late Tonight? (Also posted in holidaysmut)

[marasmine.livejournal.com]

“Palmer? Are you sick or something?” Haskins stopped on his way back to his own cubicle to stare into John’s.

“What?” John snapped, glancing over his shoulder to glare at his co-worker.

“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” Haskins demanded, “Where are you going? When? Why didn’t you say something?”

“What the hell are you on about, Haskins?” John really didn’t want to chat. He had better things to do with his time. Like think about last night…

+++
“I want you!”

“Yes!”

“Now!”

“Yes! Right now!”
+++

“Well, you are either sick or you’ve got another job!” Haskins insisted, “I haven’t seen the surface of your desk since you started here and now look at it!”

+++
Hard edge pressing against his thighs... Solid surface under his back...
+++

John obediently turned back to look at his desk, trying to hide a guilty wince. The expanse of light oak coloured laminate was dazzling in the bright fluorescent lights of the office. John had to admit that he had forgotten what the surface of his desk looked like, it had been so long since he had seen it.

+++
Shoving things aside to get space, panting breaths and moans punctuated by the sound of pens and office junk falling to the floor.
+++

“What have you done with all your paperwork?” Haskins stepped closer and peered suspiciously at the neatly stacked file trays and their orderly contents.

+++
Paper crinkling and crunching as it slid and crumpled beneath their bodies.
+++

“Oh.” John could feel his face heating. “I got fed up with the mess. So I stayed late last night and sorted it out a bit.”

+++
“Yes… harder… faster! There! Right there! Yes! I’m gonna… ngh…”
+++

“A bit? You must have been here all night! What have you done with it all?” Haskins reached towards John’s pedestal drawers and John blocked the move with a quick shift of his chair.

+++
“You got anything-?”

“Yeah. In the drawer. Hurry!”
+++

“I filed most of it,” John muttered, thinking of the three bags of trash he had wrestled down to the dumpster. “Haven’t you got any work to do, Haskins?”

+++
“Shit! The Perkins contract is ruined.”

“Turn around. Yeah. You’ve got old man Perkins’ signature right across your ass.”
+++

“I’ve got plenty,” Haskins poked the surface of the desk, his finger skidding across the freshly polished surface. “This isn’t natural. You want some of my stuff to cover it up?”

+++
“Here. This spray should work. You can’t leave a big ass-shaped sticky patch right there!”
+++

“No!” John glared at his nosey co-worker and wondered just what Haskins would say if he told him why the desk was so clear and clean.

+++
Things crashed to the floor unheeded as their mouths fought hotly and hands ripped desperately at clothes to find the smooth, slick skin beneath.
+++

Re: Working Late Tonight? (Also posted in holidaysmut)

[marasmine.livejournal.com]

Part 2

Haskins’ pre-occupation with John’s desk was drawing attention and a small crowd began to form. John wanted to scream or throw things but had to field the smart ass comments as best he could.

“Palmer’s got a desk?”

“I thought that was just a desk shaped heap of files!”

“Look! Real artificial wood!”

“Hey! It even matches the rest of the office furniture. I thought it might have been something from when they built the place.”

“Be careful! It might crumble into dust now it’s exposed to sunlight!”

“Ha ha. Very funny,” John glared at them all, “Haven’t you people got anything better to do?”

+++
Bodies straining together…
+++

“It is unnatural,” Haskins said mournfully as he, finally, made his way back to his own desk.

The rest of the crowd drifted away and John rolled his eyes in relief. He refused to look across the way at Simon. This was all his fault. And sitting over there killing himself laughing while John tried to get rid of the crowd hadn’t helped at all. Simon would be smirking now, John just knew it, but he wasn’t going to look. Instead he stared at the googly-eyed Rudolf Christmas card from Lisa in the post room.

+++
He was sure that his eyes were twitching and rolling just like the stupid reindeer card hanging drunkenly from his file trays. Every powerful thrust nailed his sweet spot and made his body, and the cubicle walls, shake; made his eyes roll loosely in his head; made the sleigh bells in Janine’s cubicle chime. He arched his back and met each thrust as best he could. His arm flailed as he tried to find some purchase and the file trays crashed to the floor, taking the weird reindeer with them.
+++

“Ready for lunch, Palmer?” Simon sauntered over and smirked at him, reaching out to tap Rudolf and make his eyes jiggle, “You’re looking a bit tired, all that tidying up must have worn you out!”

+++
“I can’t get the stains off the cubicle wall!”

“Here, pin the Christmas cards over them.”
+++

“Lunch sounds good.” John stood up and stretched, smirking himself as Simon’s eyes ran helplessly over his body. “I’m pretty hungry today, for some reason. Clearing my desk was hard work, obviously.”

+++
One sweep of the arm to send files flying, paper spilling across the floor…
+++

“Mm. Must have taken you hours of effort,” Simon slanted him a look as they made their way through the maze of cubicles.

+++
Breath sawing in the throat, emerging in panting grunts and moans…
+++

“Yeah. I worked up quite a sweat,” John smirked back.

+++
Skin slapping and sticking, hands slipping on sweat-slick muscles, the taste of salt on the tongue…
+++

“You working late tonight?” Simon bumped shoulders with John as they walked down the corridor.

“Maybe. You?” John looked at Simon from the corner of his eye and grinned.

“I could be persuaded…” Simon grinned back.

“Your desk this time,” John muttered as they left the building.

“But yours is already tidy!” Simon protested, “It won’t take us half as long to clear up tonight if we use yours!”

“But yours hasn’t got Rudolf watching!” John bumped shoulders with Simon and they both laughed.

+++

Re: Working Late Tonight? (Also posted in holidaysmut)

[spurious-sanity.livejournal.com]

MADE OF WIN!!!! XD

...mine wasn't even half as good... ( http://spurious-sanity.livejournal.com/14517.html#cutid1 )