oh, god. it's awful

[maderr]

This link comes courtesy of johnkeats, who likes to make my eyes bleed. Read for the hilariously awful.

Comments

[alice_montrose]

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/03/10/bloke_duck_mounting/

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Hee hee ^__^ Go ducks! Poor Cherry, I hope they find her a straight duck.

[alice_montrose]

Yes, or at least a lesbian duck. ^_~

I just thought you could use a laugh.

[tsaiko.livejournal.com]

Oh dear lord, miome made me listen to the recording of someone reading that monstrosity last night. I don't know which part was worse: when they compared her breasts to cheese or when they start talking about her pubes.

Or, quite possibly, the name Spikenard.

I still need to see what publishing house actually thought that book was a good idea so I can make sure my money goes elsewhere.

[theotherdibbler.livejournal.com]

Soo... apparently she's a shapeshifter? It's like one of those magical duels where the two wizards transform into all sorts of fantastic and stupid things, only there's only one of her so she has to do twice as many transformations.

I am wondering quite how one manages to smell like a gibbous moon though. I wasn't aware the moon had a noticeable scent.

[tsaiko.livejournal.com]

I am wondering quite how one manages to smell like a gibbous moon though. I wasn't aware the moon had a noticeable scent.

I said almost the exact same thing when I got to that part.

[alexiel-rain.livejournal.com]

Lol. It's kind of creepy because I posted on my own journal about it two days ago. The fanart makes me laugh everytime, though.

[the-camster.livejournal.com]

O.O My god, that is bad. There are no words to how bad that was. I mean really puzzle ears? teeth compared to a bracelet? Where did he get all the references? Seriously, Maderr, to have read that I think we are all masochistic. D:

[broken-moons.livejournal.com]

Ahaha, YOU. Evil.

Seriously, you are not ever allowed to feel you're just a romance writer and not a good one at that. The guy who wrote that, should. XD

[charisstoma.livejournal.com]

This is off topic but have you posted under a version of your name on fictionpress?
Amaretto is given credit for your stories. I thought this strange since you've published some of these as books.. of which I now own two more (I call them the White Collection).

posted here:
http://www.fictionpress.com/u/31981/Amaretto

Recced here:
http://aarinfantasy.com/forum/fiction/showentry.php?e=33799 list posted by "Isan"
on 02-22-2007, 12:01 PM (you need to sign in but membership is free)

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I published that stuff ages ago. I don't even remember the last time I updated fictionpress. I guess I should go through and weed a lot of that stuff out.

[koneikaa66.livejournal.com]

I couldn't go farther than the first few lines : it hurt my brain!
And I enjoy the silliest, more ridicule ever things, taking them with some kind of wry humor, but that... I just couldn't!
When I want to write "sylly" things at least I only share with only one or two people and give them warning about the level of bad really bad...

[silrini.livejournal.com]

The only way I read the whole thing was listening along to the dramatic reading. It was terrible.

[nit-legrasper.livejournal.com]

I agree. I was totally zoning out. 2 paragraphs in I was lost. Was he describing her body or was he just having a weird dream? Blah, if I were the woman, after 30 sec, I’d have to prompt him with a ‘well?’. That bit about pubes had me shuddering though. Geeh!

I doubt I'd be able to get through the book without having arsonist thoughts. I admire anyone with the patience for this. Really, I do.