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maderrNobody likes a whiner, so here is a constructive post, compliments of my life (hell) at little caesars. if anyone relevant to my job is reading this, I'm lying.
1. Don't order on the weekend. Everyone orders pizza then, especially stupid people who like to blow at least 30 bucks on a large with sausage (pronounced "sawdidge" around here) and triple cheese. Monday - Thursday are your best bet. And don't order when the weather is bad. Stupid people are also lazy people, and apparently rain makes it impossible to cook.
2. Be nice to the person taking your order - the crew has to be nice to you, but they have their ways of fucking up your order whilest absolving themselves of blame. (See Scenario #1 at bottom of list)
3. Know exactly what you want before you call, because otherwise it's your own damn fault if the order is screwed up. It's hard to keep track of what an indecisive moron is saying when you have four phones and at least ten other people to hear over. And don't call back twenty minutes later and try to change it. It's too late.
4. When ordering, use the K.I.S.S principle. Complicated orders are doomed from the start.
5. Be nice to the driver, and TIP HIM/HER. They will remember you, and make more of an effort to get your orders to you quickly in the future.
6. Speaking of drivers, give the correct phone # and address. Way too many people apparently don't know where they live.
7. BE PATIENT. Pizza isn't really fast food, and the more orders we have, the longer it takes. You're damned lucky if delivery is only an hour on Friday and Saturday.
8. Stop ordering after 11:00, because the closer your order is to closing time, the more we'll hate you. As stated in #2, we have our ways of getting revenge.
9. Don't pick fights to get free stuff. You'll most likely get your free stuff, but you'll also be blacklisted.
10. Try to always use coupons and specials, etc. Generally these are more accurate prices.
11. Order pizza. There is nothing dumber than calling a pizza place an asking for everything except pizza.
12. Ask for extra butter and parmesan on your breadsticks. This ensure we have to make brand new ones, and they taste better that way. Trust me. (they also taste good dipped in hotsauce, so ask for a side of that instead of the "dipping sauce.")
13. Stuffed crusts are stupid, trust me. Just get regular, thin or deepdish.
14. If you have a monster order, call earlier in the day and make it a timed order. the manager has to keep a special eye on those.
15. Don't make prank calls. They never work, and we just laugh at you the rest of the night.
-----------
Scenario #1
-----------
Worker: Thank you for calling XX, this is M----, how may I help you?
Rude Customer: Yeah, I wanna place an order
Worker: Yes, sir. May I have your phone # please?
Rude Customer: (annoyed sigh, impatient tone) It's XXX-XXXX
Worker: Alright, is that pick-up or delivery?
Rude Customer: Delivery
Worker: Yes, sir. And what would you like?
Rude Customer: (impatient, condenscending)I wanna pizza with everything.
Worker: Yes, sir. And what size would you like?
RC: (same as before) "Large."
Worker: (very polite) That's one large with everything sir?
RC: (really rude now)Yes.
Worker: (very polite) Yes, sir. That will be $XX.XX, and will take about 45 minutes to an hour.
RC: (complains about time being too long)
Worker: Sorry, sir. We're very busy. (hangs up)
----time passes---
RC: (has called back, is very angry) I didn't want this crap on my pizza! Give me the manager.
Worker: I am the manager, and I took your order. You said you wanted everything, Sir. I explicitly asked you if you wanted everything, and you said yes.
RC: (really pissed now) Well I didn't want this stuff!
Worker: I'm very sorry, Sir. There's nothing I can do* - you got exactly what you ordered.
RC: Well, you just won't get my business anymore.**
Worker: Yes sir, have a good night then. (makes note in computer about difficulty of customer)
Crew & Manger: Laugh evilly the rest of the night
*actually, the worker/manager could/should have offered to remake it. the dumbass didn't know that though and (I) wasn't about to inform him.
**he placed another order the very next night. the crew laughed at him further.
Thought the dialogue has been simplified to keep this scenario as short as possible, it is not made up. The toppings he got and did not want were: Hot peppers, tomatoes, pineapple, and anchovies, which all workers hate having to deal with - they're slimy and vile and smelly.
1. Don't order on the weekend. Everyone orders pizza then, especially stupid people who like to blow at least 30 bucks on a large with sausage (pronounced "sawdidge" around here) and triple cheese. Monday - Thursday are your best bet. And don't order when the weather is bad. Stupid people are also lazy people, and apparently rain makes it impossible to cook.
2. Be nice to the person taking your order - the crew has to be nice to you, but they have their ways of fucking up your order whilest absolving themselves of blame. (See Scenario #1 at bottom of list)
3. Know exactly what you want before you call, because otherwise it's your own damn fault if the order is screwed up. It's hard to keep track of what an indecisive moron is saying when you have four phones and at least ten other people to hear over. And don't call back twenty minutes later and try to change it. It's too late.
4. When ordering, use the K.I.S.S principle. Complicated orders are doomed from the start.
5. Be nice to the driver, and TIP HIM/HER. They will remember you, and make more of an effort to get your orders to you quickly in the future.
6. Speaking of drivers, give the correct phone # and address. Way too many people apparently don't know where they live.
7. BE PATIENT. Pizza isn't really fast food, and the more orders we have, the longer it takes. You're damned lucky if delivery is only an hour on Friday and Saturday.
8. Stop ordering after 11:00, because the closer your order is to closing time, the more we'll hate you. As stated in #2, we have our ways of getting revenge.
9. Don't pick fights to get free stuff. You'll most likely get your free stuff, but you'll also be blacklisted.
10. Try to always use coupons and specials, etc. Generally these are more accurate prices.
11. Order pizza. There is nothing dumber than calling a pizza place an asking for everything except pizza.
12. Ask for extra butter and parmesan on your breadsticks. This ensure we have to make brand new ones, and they taste better that way. Trust me. (they also taste good dipped in hotsauce, so ask for a side of that instead of the "dipping sauce.")
13. Stuffed crusts are stupid, trust me. Just get regular, thin or deepdish.
14. If you have a monster order, call earlier in the day and make it a timed order. the manager has to keep a special eye on those.
15. Don't make prank calls. They never work, and we just laugh at you the rest of the night.
-----------
Scenario #1
-----------
Worker: Thank you for calling XX, this is M----, how may I help you?
Rude Customer: Yeah, I wanna place an order
Worker: Yes, sir. May I have your phone # please?
Rude Customer: (annoyed sigh, impatient tone) It's XXX-XXXX
Worker: Alright, is that pick-up or delivery?
Rude Customer: Delivery
Worker: Yes, sir. And what would you like?
Rude Customer: (impatient, condenscending)I wanna pizza with everything.
Worker: Yes, sir. And what size would you like?
RC: (same as before) "Large."
Worker: (very polite) That's one large with everything sir?
RC: (really rude now)Yes.
Worker: (very polite) Yes, sir. That will be $XX.XX, and will take about 45 minutes to an hour.
RC: (complains about time being too long)
Worker: Sorry, sir. We're very busy. (hangs up)
----time passes---
RC: (has called back, is very angry) I didn't want this crap on my pizza! Give me the manager.
Worker: I am the manager, and I took your order. You said you wanted everything, Sir. I explicitly asked you if you wanted everything, and you said yes.
RC: (really pissed now) Well I didn't want this stuff!
Worker: I'm very sorry, Sir. There's nothing I can do* - you got exactly what you ordered.
RC: Well, you just won't get my business anymore.**
Worker: Yes sir, have a good night then. (makes note in computer about difficulty of customer)
Crew & Manger: Laugh evilly the rest of the night
*actually, the worker/manager could/should have offered to remake it. the dumbass didn't know that though and (I) wasn't about to inform him.
**he placed another order the very next night. the crew laughed at him further.
Thought the dialogue has been simplified to keep this scenario as short as possible, it is not made up. The toppings he got and did not want were: Hot peppers, tomatoes, pineapple, and anchovies, which all workers hate having to deal with - they're slimy and vile and smelly.
no subject
Date: 2003-09-07 08:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-09 01:22 pm (UTC):)
Date: 2003-09-11 01:23 am (UTC)Re: :)
Date: 2003-09-11 02:36 am (UTC)