Dead Man's Hand by Nancy A. Collins
May. 25th, 2005 06:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
maderrOkay, I'm the very last person who has any right to bitch about stories that are cliche and beendone.
That ain't going to stop me from bitching anyway. Especially when it comes to my "favorite" cliche: Vampires.
I bought this book for one reason only (well, several kinda rolled into one) - Old West + Vampires + Werewolves. The author came highly praised, the premise sounded interesting...
And her friggin vampires are so entirely the same old damn thing. I was severely disappointed. I mean this one comment goes "turned the vampire genre upside down and inside out"
...but all she did was put them in the Wild West. And I'll give her mad props for the West. She did that very, very well. But her vampires didn't impress me at all. Nor did her werewolves, really, though they were sort of interesting. But every hero was Angsty! Sad! Alone! and though I have to go double check I'm pretty sure most of them lost not only their parents Tragically! but also their wife *and* newborn or recently born child. Except the very beginning of the first story, which was the only thing I really liked about it. Otherwise the vampire story was Resident Evil -suburbia -disease o'doom + old west +vampire hero instead of halfvampire hero.
Plus, the whole visual theme of the book is a card game...and there's not a single game of any significance or length in the entire damn book.
Oh! But the one story did have something to do with Frankenstein, but that's only cool to me b/c I'm such a fangirl, if such a thing is possible for that book. Otherwise, meh. The story wasn't all that hot. Just yay, another poor guy who lost his family and now wants revenge but is sekkretly being manipulated by others and only gets a bittersweet end like every other horror story on the face of the planet.
The one thing that *really* annoyed me was the way the gunnman was saved - by a random girl who told him to stop because she would be sad. And then suddenly they were in love. OSC much? I would have preferred a little struggle *there* instead of all the crap that came later and made the story boring. What chick is ever really that naive and sweet and So Perfect for the LonelySadMisunderstood Hero? My slash prefs aside, it would have been more interesting to see a guy save the gun man from suicide(and these are wholly my own characters, such as they are):
"What the hell are you doing?"
Russ glared at the man who had opened his door - clearly a worker intent on cleaning out a room he'd thought was empty. "What's it look like?"
"Like you're a fucking moron."
"Thanks for the encouragement, I'll just get on with it."
"Let me guess." the young man snorted. "You think you're doing someone a favor?"
"That's the general idea."
"What about me? I'll have to clean your goddamn brains up. And what about the girls? They'll run screaming, never mind the customers who'll leave and not come back because some fool gunnan decided to kill the atmosphere with his stupidty. No one'll rent this room if you ruin it, and that'll be bad for business. Stay the fuck alive or go do it outta town limits."
Russ was half tempted to shoot the smartass - *that* would probably do the world a favor. "Get out."
"Should I fetch the mop and bucket to clean up your brains?" the young man asked tartly.
"How about a fresh bottle of whiskey to drown you out?" Russ snapped.
"Just so long as I ain't got a mess to clean up..."
"Yeah, yeah. Get my damn whiskey."
~~~~
Jeezus I need something to do. I'd forgotten how goddamn boring this shift was >_< Yes, I know I should be writing my stories. But gueess who forgot to send them to herself to work on them at work?
ARGH.
That ain't going to stop me from bitching anyway. Especially when it comes to my "favorite" cliche: Vampires.
I bought this book for one reason only (well, several kinda rolled into one) - Old West + Vampires + Werewolves. The author came highly praised, the premise sounded interesting...
And her friggin vampires are so entirely the same old damn thing. I was severely disappointed. I mean this one comment goes "turned the vampire genre upside down and inside out"
...but all she did was put them in the Wild West. And I'll give her mad props for the West. She did that very, very well. But her vampires didn't impress me at all. Nor did her werewolves, really, though they were sort of interesting. But every hero was Angsty! Sad! Alone! and though I have to go double check I'm pretty sure most of them lost not only their parents Tragically! but also their wife *and* newborn or recently born child. Except the very beginning of the first story, which was the only thing I really liked about it. Otherwise the vampire story was Resident Evil -suburbia -disease o'doom + old west +vampire hero instead of halfvampire hero.
Plus, the whole visual theme of the book is a card game...and there's not a single game of any significance or length in the entire damn book.
Oh! But the one story did have something to do with Frankenstein, but that's only cool to me b/c I'm such a fangirl, if such a thing is possible for that book. Otherwise, meh. The story wasn't all that hot. Just yay, another poor guy who lost his family and now wants revenge but is sekkretly being manipulated by others and only gets a bittersweet end like every other horror story on the face of the planet.
The one thing that *really* annoyed me was the way the gunnman was saved - by a random girl who told him to stop because she would be sad. And then suddenly they were in love. OSC much? I would have preferred a little struggle *there* instead of all the crap that came later and made the story boring. What chick is ever really that naive and sweet and So Perfect for the LonelySadMisunderstood Hero? My slash prefs aside, it would have been more interesting to see a guy save the gun man from suicide(and these are wholly my own characters, such as they are):
"What the hell are you doing?"
Russ glared at the man who had opened his door - clearly a worker intent on cleaning out a room he'd thought was empty. "What's it look like?"
"Like you're a fucking moron."
"Thanks for the encouragement, I'll just get on with it."
"Let me guess." the young man snorted. "You think you're doing someone a favor?"
"That's the general idea."
"What about me? I'll have to clean your goddamn brains up. And what about the girls? They'll run screaming, never mind the customers who'll leave and not come back because some fool gunnan decided to kill the atmosphere with his stupidty. No one'll rent this room if you ruin it, and that'll be bad for business. Stay the fuck alive or go do it outta town limits."
Russ was half tempted to shoot the smartass - *that* would probably do the world a favor. "Get out."
"Should I fetch the mop and bucket to clean up your brains?" the young man asked tartly.
"How about a fresh bottle of whiskey to drown you out?" Russ snapped.
"Just so long as I ain't got a mess to clean up..."
"Yeah, yeah. Get my damn whiskey."
~~~~
Jeezus I need something to do. I'd forgotten how goddamn boring this shift was >_< Yes, I know I should be writing my stories. But gueess who forgot to send them to herself to work on them at work?
ARGH.
