Blah

[maderr]

Too tense and pissed off to sleep.

Was so excited about a story I was writing, but bungled it completely. Sammikins told me how to fix it, but it would have been a lot less fucking frustrating if I'd realized someone else had told me the same thing hours before.

Am also heartily sick of being made to feel stupid, even if I'm the only one who feels like people are doing it. I know I'm not stupid, but when I'm constantly talked down to, constantly passed over, constantly laughed at for silly little mistakes...

Iris is four weeks late getting back to me, which I guess is enough of an answer. Even my fairytales are not good enough.

Roommate finished off my laundry for me, since I have a bad habit of forgetting about it. I was too busy fighting a losing battle with my story and wishing desperately that someone would cheer me up, but given all I do when I'm in a bad mood is snarl, I can't really blame anyone for ignoring me. It's still depressing, though, to know that all you want is for someone to make you laugh and and they'd all much rather shoot themselves in the face.

Am officially broke. Knew I would be, with bills and the new dryer (that we don't actually need since the other one started working but hey! just in case. christ I hope I have enough bus money 'til next paycheck). Still, at least I am broke with bills paid, not broke with bills yet to be paid.

I really hope this week is a good one, but if I'm like this now I'm inclined to think no.

Now to try to sleep again, as the emo quota for the month (and next) is now filled.

Comments

[wobblygoblin.livejournal.com]

No emo for you! (It's funnier if you think of it said in Soup Nazi fashion.)

Remember, I am always a steadfast transatlantic shoulder to cry on.

I know it is not much and seems stupidly simplistic and inadequate, but here are some songs for you, for the angry-face times:

Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole - Martha Wainwright

Bitch, Give Me My Money - Stephen Lynch

Perfect - Alanis Morissette

And if you haven't already, download the playlist I posted to inkygoblin and pay special attention to the song "I Hate Everyone." Mayhaps it will make you smile.

*hugs*

[nikerymis.livejournal.com]

If it would help to cheer you up, I can do you up a drabble? I'm otherwise quite sucky at the cheering people up, as I can never seem to say the right things but request anything and I shall do my best to make it written.

[rykaine.livejournal.com]

umm... wasn't trying to ignore you? I had work at 0700 yesterday and today. Tired, mostly. Also bummed out over the stuff with Mr R.

I'll work on being less sucky of a sister. Can I do anything for you? Write you something (other than Kyle/Erik which is giving me a really good fight)?

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Huh? No, dude, you're fine. I was impressed you talked to me as much as you did.

Gods, Mr. R. That depresses me and he wasn't even my teacher.

[naatz.livejournal.com]

Aw. *hugs*

I can't tell you not to be depressed if that's how you're feeling, but I CAN tell you that you're not stupid for messing up a story. Getting stories right is hard, and if you insisted to keep doing something 'wrong' -- you mus've thought you were doing it right and that it had the chance to work. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. But I bet that most of the time things work out for you, because you're not-stupid like that.

|Meduza|

[dameange.livejournal.com]

{{{{hugs}}}}

[remote45.livejournal.com]

I'm not too good at cheering people up, but I read a really great books today "The Vampires Heart" by Mark A Roeder (http://www.amazon.com/Vampires-Heart-Mark-Roeder/dp/0595225640/sr=8-1/qid=1172465966/ref=sr_1_1/105-7652830-1210821?ie=UTF8&s=books)and if you haven't read it, I'd be happy to mail it to you to give you something to look forward to?

[tygati.livejournal.com]

*loves on* You're not stupid. :P And I will try to be better about not pointing out all your mistakes cause I know it drives Mikey bananas when I do it and.. yeah. 6.6 *huggle* I sowwy.



Make thy demands, ohime. I will do my penance without complaint. ^^;;

[tygati.livejournal.com]

P.S. Isis sucks big fat hairy donkey balls. *nod* (In the words of my roommate which I have borrowed for the purpose. ^.^)

[rykaine.livejournal.com]

Iris has serious issues judging and discerning good fiction. Connections is not-really-living proof of that. >_< Stupid Iris...

[mechante-fille.livejournal.com]

I hope that this week is much, much better. I have to agree with the 'Iris has no taste' theory. I would pay to read anything you write. Publishers will figure that out, eventually.

[avalon13.livejournal.com]

The thing I noticed about books that involve homo erotica, is that; if there's no sex, it's a no go. I've read the works of authors considered, 'best selling authors of homo erotica' and they haven't a scrap of the talent you have. Yet people buy their books because evrey few pages there will be a sex scene. If they don't want what you have to offer, then it's there own damn lost. I know I don't read your stories for the sex. i read it because it's funny, engaging, and i love your plots and characters. if they tell you that to work with them you have to put in sex scenes to make the book sell, when there wasn't suppose to be any of those scenes in the first place, well fuck them. If I wanted porn I'd buy one of their goddamn books. I want an actual story, and that's why i come to you.

[marasmine.livejournal.com]

I hope you managed to get to sleep. Things do tend to look better after a few hours sleep! You messed up a story and now know what you have to do to fix it? That's only cause for a kick up the ass and four hours momping! Depression is only permitted if you know it's messed up but you don't know how to fix it. You are a talented writer, I haven't read the bulk of your posted work yet, but your characters are wonderful and your plots well paced; you don't have too many 'bad habits' in your writing (I read the NaNo version of Kidnapped). I don't know you, you don't know me - I hope that makes my opinion more unbiased than most (my brain works that way when I am depressed, my friends are only saying nice things to cheer me up!). Reading between the lines of the other comments (and probably getting it all wrong) you have a not so nice rejection slip. It's a step up that they have made any suggestions at all, rather than just a flat 'no thanks'. And it just means you haven't found the right place for your work yet. Remember I don't know exactly what I am talking about just guessing part of the problem - but I have heard that there are some publishers that deal in 'homo-romance' rather than 'homo-erotica', can't give you any names but if you aren't already banging on their doors, it might be worth looking for them. I think they should make a brand new category just for you if they can't fit you into one of their existing pigeon-holes. Making people smile and feel good, like your stories do, isn't something to be sneered at!

Oh and if I'm talking complete bollocks please delete this post! May your week be filled with good luck and good plots!

[stardance.livejournal.com]

If you're ever down, I know how it feels and don't mind >.>

aim o0yoru0o

[skylark97.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I hope things look up this morning. Sometimes stories look different after you've slept on them? Iris...if they're not smart enough to pick you up, then screw 'em. I haven't had a burning desire to pick up any of their titles yet other than Connections, and that was just to have Tsaiko's story.

*snuggle hugs* (Um, on the subject of money...would you consider commissioning some stories? I don't have an uber lot of money this week, but I'd just spend it on junk anyway, and I'd much rather put it to good use, and your stories are definitely that.)

Hang in there. *hugs*

[rykaine.livejournal.com]

ooh, commissioning. Now there's an idea... tee, you're so smart! *hugs*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ree/]

I very much agree with the idea of commissioning. Hopefully the money would be worth the added stress of everyone and their mom wanting a story from you.

I hope today was 94223491383490187 times better than yesterday. <3 Sorry things were looking down, and I hope they improved quickly!

Also, umm... Harry Potter looks ridiculous naked. Especially from behind. http://thesuperficial.com/2007/02/daniel_radcliffe_bares_his_but.html#comment

Hopefully you will find that at least PARTIALLY as funny as I did? If not, uh, just pretend this conversation never happened...

[maderr.livejournal.com]

*clicks on link*



*dies laughing*


I remember so many people being mad about him doing that play. All I could think was "what the hell are you letting your kids do that you worry they'll see Radcliffe in an adult play they shouldn't be anywhere near?"

[kiyoshi-chan.livejournal.com]

:( I wish things were better for you. Want some pretty mental images? I have vague/nebulous ideas regarding an elf.