I am barely awake, fair warning

[maderr]

This one of the stories Torq just released:

Willing Fire by Mav Anthony

Simeon's a new boy in his Master's harem. Watching but never
participating, he waits his Lord sends for him. He's fascinated by His
Lord, Mikjial.

Mikjial is beautiful and powerful and he offers nothing but pleasure. All
Simeon needs to do is submit, something he wasn't sure he could do. But on
this night he does, offering everything he is to Mikjial and finding
pleasures he never dreamed of.

And this is the sample they offer for reading:

Simeon hurried down the stone halls, slippered feet making no noise as they padded, hurried faster and faster. They had tried to put kohl on his eyes, perfumed salves on his skin, when they found that the Lord had called for him. They had tried to brush him, shave him, make him into one of them, into one of the self-same lithe bodies that were no more than holes to sate the Lord’s need, but he had refused.

If the Lord wanted him, the Lord would get him -- plain, clean, simple and unadorned. As was intended.

He shuddered as he turned the familiar corner that led to the lordship's bedchambers. He prayed to all the gods that the Lord would not be... displeased.

Simeon pulled the silly layers of gauzy material around him as best he could, and knocked on the huge, ornate door with a trembling hand. The door showed the Lord’s power, gold and silver carved into the wood for no other reason than to bring pleasure to the Lord’s eyes.

"Come!" The word was short, the Lord's voice perfunctory, icy cold.

He pushed the door open, standing quiet and still on the threshold. He had to clear his throat, twice, before he could speak. "You called for me, my Lord?"


I guess for the gluttons for punishment, or those that just don't care, the story is only $1.30. Myself, I'm going to go get ready for work and refrain from comment, because 1) I'm even nastier without caffeine and D) It's not nice to get snarky before the story has been read in full.

Comments

[kiyoshi-chan.livejournal.com]

*grin* I am so tempted to start shopping on TP myself, but I MUST RESIST. *fights the urge*

*loves you* Have a good day sweetheart. ♥

[lokiloo.livejournal.com]

It doesn't sound TOO bad. I'm guessing the smut will suck in a whole, but the writing doesn't make me want to commit Sekkpuku with my grammer book.

[maderr.livejournal.com]

The writing isn't bad. It's more what I can already see of the premise -- boys with make up and guazy clothes, though at least the MC struggles to be different, though if he's so contemptuous I wonder why he's in the harem. The lord is Cold and Dominant and the world is lush and over the top and I seriously doubt there's any explanation or reason for any of it. but I'm jugdmental, I know I am. Mostly it just already seems to lack creativity, and in a story type that could so very much be more creative, it's depressing.

But, as I said. I'm in the minority. Kitty more or less reminded me of this last night.

[skylark97.livejournal.com]

>_>;; Hell, I'd give it half a paragraph before it degenerates into rounds and rounds of meaningless sex.

Mostly it just already seems to lack creativity, and in a story type that could so very much be more creative, it's depressing.

I'd second that. I kept looking for a hook, and the only one I could see was that it was set in a harem. -_-

...then again, I have been spoiled by the smex stories I see on my flist. ;3

[thealisonbailey.livejournal.com]

I'd second that. I kept looking for a hook, and the only one I could see was that it was set in a harem. -_-

Same here. I kinda wonder why I should care at this point. I mean, I'm not much the pr0n-y type, but even I'm thinking, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, get to the smut."

[avalon13.livejournal.com]

I bet the lord has some tragic past where he didn't get that puppy for Christmas that he wanted too.

[sixpence1323.livejournal.com]

Hnnnn... Yeah, I read half a sentence and I was bored. You have amazing super abilities to stay concentrated. My mind wandered completely.

Can't you put a WARNING: SUCKY WRITING AHEAD! READ AT OWN RISK! sign? Actually, that's kind of funny...

[anatari.livejournal.com]

Sounds like mindless porn.

[tsaiko.livejournal.com]

Torq produces something other than mindless porn?

[avalon13.livejournal.com]

yes. sometimes they attempt to publish something Deep and Meaningful, but precious few buy it and go back to that old staple; porn. It;s like when scientist created decaf espresso. Pointless and nobody wanted to buy it.

[tsaiko.livejournal.com]

Plot at Torq is as elusive as unicorns then, because all the stories I've read from them have been mindless porn. I shall take your word that these stories do exist.

[twilight-angel.livejournal.com]

Ah-ha-ha-ha, PORN!!! And that's probably it. It's kind of sad that Author A takes the idea of a harem and makes it into, as has been said already, "mindless porn." Then, there's Author B, who takes the idea of a harem and creates how many wonderful stories, the vast majority not even having porn? (*cough*Maderr!*cough*) If writers just bothered to put in some plot (other than character A must learn how to submit to character B to find ultimate pleasure/happiness/whatever), I bet even they'd be surprised with how well they can suddenly write...maybe. It's stories like that one above that make me not read any kind of harem stories (with a few exceptions, of course ^_~).

[/unexpected rant]

[amnell-kahlan.livejournal.com]

Considering I don't write, the following is just observation. :)

*twitch* I'm sorry but it kinda makes me want to scroll through it really fast because I feel embarrassed by association. It's not that the writing is bad, it's just that the first few paragraphs kinda outline the whole plot. It's a bit like an essay... 'ahem, the topic of this paper is the development of an emotional bond between a cynical, hardened man who thought himself immune to love and a fragile, beautiful young boy who wished for nothing more than approval and true love derived of any lies or artifice such as make-up and shaving.... and clothing.

Umm, yeah. Run-on sentence, but whatever. I don't write that many essays. :)