drabble drabble

[maderr]

Wrote for my darling mechante, who was pondering Shah's half of the meeting.

Barring circumstances unforseen, I should be able to finish Fahima's story tonight. Even with the laundry and packing ^^;; And I should clean the house before I leave, but I don't fucking feel like it. I'll be a good little maid when I get back. Until then, fuck it.

Drabble:



"I believe that is what is called making a mess of things," Shah said with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Nanda stroked his back soothingly, moving forward to pour more tea. "In our defense," he said calmly, "even I did not anticipate what she told us."

"Indeed," Shah replied, sighing again and gratefully drinking the tea offered. "Still, I did not mean to upset her so." He frowned pensively at the doorway through which Fahima had vanished, and Beynum right behind her to ensure she did return safely to her room. "I confess I am rather at a loss now, Nanda."

"You were on the right path at dinner," Nanda replied calmly, pouring more tea. "She is smart, and speaks well when coaxed into conversation." He drummed the table lightly in thought. "I sense she and I have much in common. Though provincial, her family is much like mine - old fashioned, strict. A scholarly woman with a strong interest in the temples? Eccentric to say the least, and overshadowed by her sister."

Shah frowned. "I do not see how she is overshadowed. Truly I am relieved to be free of Lady Nawra."

Nanda laughed softly. "Then maybe you should tell her that, Shah."

"If she will speak to you," Beynum said as he returned, dropping the heavy tapestry back into place. "Crying women always turn into angry women, and angry women like to turn a cold shoulder if they cannot lob things at your head."

"She's crying?" Shah asked, dismayed. He ran a hand through his hair, shoulders slumping. "I did not mean to make her cry."

Beynum dropped down next to him and kissed Shah briefly. "Give a gift, that will help."

Shah rest his chin in his hand, staring moodily at his tea. "This marriage thing is difficult. What manner of gift does a man give a woman he has forced into marrying him for fear her family will be executed otherwise."

"That is beyond even my skills of etiquette," Nanda said with a shake of his head. "I confess the matter has become a fine tangle. No doubt the council would say it is your comeuppance."

Grimacing, Shah finished his tea and stood. "Let us hope I can untangle it. For now we are going to bed, before I somehow manage to make things even worse."

Comments

[alice_montrose]

I love the way Shah is at a loss about what to do, for once. (Then again, I am told women might have that effect on men.) I see a certain awkwardness in his interaction with Fahima, which I find quite endearing. And he definitely gets the better sister!

As for the council... I'm sure they'll be thrilled. *eg* in fact, I am looking forward to read that little bit of story, if it is included of course.

[kiyoshi-chan.livejournal.com]

Heh. I have to admit a certain sympathy for Shah. He didn't MEAN to make a mess of it, but ah, well. At least we know you're human Shah. ;)

[tsubaki-dono.livejournal.com]

Loving the story behind Shah and Fahima. I am glad that this story is not at all a fluffy and romantic one. Hopefully, you keep the conflict and chaos going to the very end. I anticipate Fahima putting up a kind of fuss, if a rather formal one. Dare I hope she will take some convincing to see that Shah truly would prefer her and doesn't view her as a replacement?

Just a thought I wanted to share:
I find that you often don't go into further detail on expressions for surrounding characters. Such as Beynum here when he reported back to Shah after seeing Fahima back to her room; I don't know quite what Beynum feels or what his expression says. I can tell very well how Shah feels and even Nanda seems perturbed, I just wanted to point out I miss seeing more detail in your writing when you have such a grand way with story-telling.

But still, this is good work. I'm so looking forward to the rest.

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Too many details clutters a story up. I do it where I can, but in drabbles especially it's just not necessary. I'll try to take more care, but I hate ruining a story with overkill on details that can be inferred or construed from the situation -- it's probably at least clear Beynum isn't amused, for example, and he was trying to help, which indicates concern.

[mordred-risika.livejournal.com]

Awww poor Shah, and Fahima, and Nanda and Benyum for having to try to fix things. I hope they sort things out quickly!!! ^_^

[dameange.livejournal.com]

ha! love this!

[mechante-fille.livejournal.com]

*loves all over*

Yay, more tonight! I hope that works out. Happy packing. ^_^

[aqua-eyes.livejournal.com]

Awww. Shah.

Books are always good. ^^

[charisstoma.livejournal.com]

Beynum is use to a less complex class of woman than Fahima. The problem with Fahima is hers. Shah was in a bad place and Fahima knows this. She has a right to her feelings on this but it's something that will work out with alittle wooing into Shah's family. Working out the dynamics is going to be fun.

[bitchypixii.livejournal.com]

Oh, poor babies. *pets* I changed my mind, I want to gather them all up and hug them until the problems go away.