Hmm, sleep didn't work
Jan. 14th, 2008 12:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
maderrTomorrow is going to suck. My desire to be an awful slacker and call in sick for no good reason grows and grows x.x ugh, can you tell I have lost all motivation for my job? I just don't fucking care anymore >_o I hate when I start to feel that way, but gods every day I just want more and more to be a writer and nothing else. I don't want tons of money, must enough to get by. My family has never had much money, so it's not like I'm not used to going without.
Blah. Sammie and I were talking today about how it would be awesome if we could start up our own slash press or zine or something. We just do not have the business skills. Well, I do not have the head for it. That I can manage my own checking most of the time is a fracking miracle. Sammie could do the business end beautifully, I'd bet. hey, dude, Sammie. Mom is good at that shit....
Hmm. Matters for another day. I really wouldn't be good for more than stocking the shelves with stuffs to read ^^; What I'd like to do is a serial, but I never a)have the time, cause I'd want it finished or nearly finished before I started releasing it and 3) I never have been able to contrive a good idea for one. Sammie said something today that sort of sparked an idea. A regency-style serial might be cool, and I was thinking it could revolve loosely around a highwayman. It would be neat to begin and end with him, and his story interspersed througout, mingled with the stories of those who crossed his path and stuff. That'd take a lot of work, though, and I'd likely have to stop doing everything else. Hmm. I also would have no clue how to release it. Print would be fun, but more expensive and difficult, sadly (cause, come on, how cool would it be to get a part of a story in the mail every month? I would kill for something like that). Lulu? I wish I had the skillz to do a website thingie for that, but I do not. That point is moot, anyway, since I'd have to write the bloody story.
Alison's writing community seems to be doing well. I hope it continues to keep everyone going ^____^ I wish I could do more to help, sadly my tricks seem to work only for me. I'm very much a...I tend to wing a lot of what I do. I jot stuff down,and will sit at my desk for ages appearing to do nothing when really I'm mulling over details and bits...but when it comes down to it, I know practically nothing. It might shock people the stuff I did not know about various stories until it was suddenly typed out on the screen before me.
Which makes me think or writing exercises, which minus one I've never really bothered to do. I always see my stories themselves as the exercises. Many I've written presented one challenge or another, be it POV, setting, type of story...I would hazard to say the knight stories of late are an exercise in the importance of language (which is fsking hard to remember in fantasy of any sort. I really hate when I can't use 'fuck' and all, but then again it's fun to make up curses too - fire and ash!).
Crap. I really should be tired but I'm not. Tomorrow is going to suck so very much indeed.
Still pondering writing exercises, for no good reason, really, since that's just not how I think? Still, the prisoner one I did was fun. I like switching POVs in stories cause it forces me to see the story from all sides in great detail. With one POV, I don't have to flesh out out how B might regard A, 'cause A is the sole POV. With multiple, I have to show all sides, and when their thoughts are drastically different Megan gets a headache but has fun. A single POV has its own challenges, of course, and sometimes that's what I go with - but rarely. Only ever in short stories, for certain.
My mind was straying to tentacles again today, b/t knights and knightl pr0n. I think I want to do a wizard by the sea type story, with a tentacle-y assistant. Tentacles are hard to wrap my brain around, which means 'tis a challenge, and challenges of course must be overcome. Two sure fire ways to get a Megan to do your bidding: provoke it just right or bribe it (or, a third, I like cheering people up).
I think part of my sleeping problem is hunger. Forgot to eat dinner, and because my bank account is perpetually empty I can never afford many groceries or very good ones x.x argh, I long for real food and a kitchen that is not a nasty, filthy cesspool. I think I have some english muffins, though, that I'd forgotten about 'til now.
Blah, I think I have tortured the internets with my rambling long enough. I go to nibble, and then to try and sleep again.
Blah. Sammie and I were talking today about how it would be awesome if we could start up our own slash press or zine or something. We just do not have the business skills. Well, I do not have the head for it. That I can manage my own checking most of the time is a fracking miracle. Sammie could do the business end beautifully, I'd bet. hey, dude, Sammie. Mom is good at that shit....
Hmm. Matters for another day. I really wouldn't be good for more than stocking the shelves with stuffs to read ^^; What I'd like to do is a serial, but I never a)have the time, cause I'd want it finished or nearly finished before I started releasing it and 3) I never have been able to contrive a good idea for one. Sammie said something today that sort of sparked an idea. A regency-style serial might be cool, and I was thinking it could revolve loosely around a highwayman. It would be neat to begin and end with him, and his story interspersed througout, mingled with the stories of those who crossed his path and stuff. That'd take a lot of work, though, and I'd likely have to stop doing everything else. Hmm. I also would have no clue how to release it. Print would be fun, but more expensive and difficult, sadly (cause, come on, how cool would it be to get a part of a story in the mail every month? I would kill for something like that). Lulu? I wish I had the skillz to do a website thingie for that, but I do not. That point is moot, anyway, since I'd have to write the bloody story.
Alison's writing community seems to be doing well. I hope it continues to keep everyone going ^____^ I wish I could do more to help, sadly my tricks seem to work only for me. I'm very much a...I tend to wing a lot of what I do. I jot stuff down,and will sit at my desk for ages appearing to do nothing when really I'm mulling over details and bits...but when it comes down to it, I know practically nothing. It might shock people the stuff I did not know about various stories until it was suddenly typed out on the screen before me.
Which makes me think or writing exercises, which minus one I've never really bothered to do. I always see my stories themselves as the exercises. Many I've written presented one challenge or another, be it POV, setting, type of story...I would hazard to say the knight stories of late are an exercise in the importance of language (which is fsking hard to remember in fantasy of any sort. I really hate when I can't use 'fuck' and all, but then again it's fun to make up curses too - fire and ash!).
Crap. I really should be tired but I'm not. Tomorrow is going to suck so very much indeed.
Still pondering writing exercises, for no good reason, really, since that's just not how I think? Still, the prisoner one I did was fun. I like switching POVs in stories cause it forces me to see the story from all sides in great detail. With one POV, I don't have to flesh out out how B might regard A, 'cause A is the sole POV. With multiple, I have to show all sides, and when their thoughts are drastically different Megan gets a headache but has fun. A single POV has its own challenges, of course, and sometimes that's what I go with - but rarely. Only ever in short stories, for certain.
My mind was straying to tentacles again today, b/t knights and knightl pr0n. I think I want to do a wizard by the sea type story, with a tentacle-y assistant. Tentacles are hard to wrap my brain around, which means 'tis a challenge, and challenges of course must be overcome. Two sure fire ways to get a Megan to do your bidding: provoke it just right or bribe it (or, a third, I like cheering people up).
I think part of my sleeping problem is hunger. Forgot to eat dinner, and because my bank account is perpetually empty I can never afford many groceries or very good ones x.x argh, I long for real food and a kitchen that is not a nasty, filthy cesspool. I think I have some english muffins, though, that I'd forgotten about 'til now.
Blah, I think I have tortured the internets with my rambling long enough. I go to nibble, and then to try and sleep again.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-14 06:28 am (UTC)There's not any you know, useful comment I can make. We all love having you on LJ, but I'm sorry your job is making life hard. Money seems to be a problem all around. I'm staring at the tuition bill, and it's going up due to state idiocy, and I don't think I'll be able to afford groceries soon, either.
Lulu, for you, and tygati, is totally the first thing on my list when I've any spending money. I'm a bath lover, and I can;t take the laptop in there :)
Hope sleep helps.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-14 06:52 am (UTC)Also meep, drink lots of water? Sometimes that helps with hunger pangs?
no subject
Date: 2008-01-14 08:01 am (UTC)i know almost exactly how you feel, i don't have a job cause i'm not old enough for one, well there are some but i'm too lazy to attempt to get one.
but whenever people ask me what i want to do, i'm always like 'i want to write' but i know i'm not good enough, so what i want to do is like publish internet stories (i.e. yours) because there are such amazing stories on the internet. and i think that's why i want to take business studies for an a level, but i kind of hope business studies has something to do with how to open/run a business. *bleurg*
oh yeah, my advice: CALL IN SICK TOMMOROW FOR WORK!if you don't want to go, don't go, everyone deserves an occasional break.
much love
xxxx
no subject
Date: 2008-01-14 08:58 am (UTC)You remind me of the crazy live-your-life-day-by-day typa girl who does what she wants and makes do with what she has, but manages to make it all so interesting and a I can relate sorta thing. If that made sense. I mean it all in a very good way, it's the type of lifestyle I wish I had. You consider most pov's, make things more brighter than they previously were, and look at things from all perspectives. And then you go home and write brilliantly... It's hard to describe..
Either way, you're great and eat more! Don't let yourself go hungry o.0, its bad for j00! <3
no subject
Date: 2008-01-14 11:39 am (UTC)o/
Date: 2008-01-14 12:19 pm (UTC)It seems like Lulu would take a lot of the pain out of running a business, at least as far as actually handling sales and printing and so on. That would leave compiling and editing and giving things a consistent 'feel', if you will.
Um, I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say here, I just thought I would be a willing volunteer.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-14 09:24 pm (UTC)Thought about doing that this year with
It's something I'd love to try -- if not as a publisher, then at least try to do a quarterly mini-comic with my own work.
I long for real food and a kitchen that is not a nasty, filthy cesspool.
I'm going to start mailing you food.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-14 10:39 pm (UTC)I always get sick when the weather changes this erractically. -_-;;
I can completely see you starting a slash publishing company that's fair to everyone envolved. Your awesomeness knows no bounds.