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maderrWallet is gone. No goddamn fucking clue where it is. Everything. ID, cards, insurance cards, checks, you name it -- fucking gone. Because I'm a goddamn moron who needs to be stabbed in the face.
And you know, I try to laugh it off. Have been all day. But my little sister is coming to visit and I really wanted to fucking take her out. Dinner, a bar, I just fucking wanted to have fun with my sister and now I can't even buy motherfucking groceries or any goddamn thing else because now I have to order new fucking everything and none of it will be here in time and I can't even go withdraw money from my savings b/c I can't get a new ID 'til Saturday (and then only if Sarah can take me) except I need money for that and I can't fucking access my money!
I so fucking hate being me sometimes.
The grand joke of the day was that I was a jinx. Now don't get me wrong, it was good natured and I started it. But sometimes I bloody wonder =_= My family is only ever half joking, I think, when we claim to be cursed. I swear to god if I hadn't been there today, less shit would have gone wrong. My boss took me with her to go look at stuff -- and the store closed right as we got there b/c the power had randomly gone out.
Bah.
Now to go make myself clean the fucking house, since about now all I can offer my little sister is a clean house.
And I know I'm overreacting and I can probably fix it and I don't really give a fuck. I'm mad at myself, I'm tired of feeling stupid, I'm tired of shit going wrong no matter what I do. I constantly feel like I'm seconds from drowning, and lately I wish I'd just fucking drown. I'm just fucking tired of it. All I wanted was to take my sister out, and I couldn't even manage not to fuck that up.
And you know, I try to laugh it off. Have been all day. But my little sister is coming to visit and I really wanted to fucking take her out. Dinner, a bar, I just fucking wanted to have fun with my sister and now I can't even buy motherfucking groceries or any goddamn thing else because now I have to order new fucking everything and none of it will be here in time and I can't even go withdraw money from my savings b/c I can't get a new ID 'til Saturday (and then only if Sarah can take me) except I need money for that and I can't fucking access my money!
I so fucking hate being me sometimes.
The grand joke of the day was that I was a jinx. Now don't get me wrong, it was good natured and I started it. But sometimes I bloody wonder =_= My family is only ever half joking, I think, when we claim to be cursed. I swear to god if I hadn't been there today, less shit would have gone wrong. My boss took me with her to go look at stuff -- and the store closed right as we got there b/c the power had randomly gone out.
Bah.
Now to go make myself clean the fucking house, since about now all I can offer my little sister is a clean house.
And I know I'm overreacting and I can probably fix it and I don't really give a fuck. I'm mad at myself, I'm tired of feeling stupid, I'm tired of shit going wrong no matter what I do. I constantly feel like I'm seconds from drowning, and lately I wish I'd just fucking drown. I'm just fucking tired of it. All I wanted was to take my sister out, and I couldn't even manage not to fuck that up.
