Writing pet peeve

[maderr]

Dialogue. When writing dialogue, start a new line for a different speaker, and keep the actions properly seperated. It is horribly fucking confusing when people do this:

"Did you do that?" Kevin narrowed his eyes and glared at the speaker, more than a little annoyed by the snotty tone.

"Of course I did it," he snapped. Peter stalked across the room to loom over him in that damnable way of his.

"I did't think you had enough brains for it."


Do you see how aggravating that is? Peter is speaking lines 1 & 3, Kevin speaks part 2, but Kevin is described with line one, and Peter is described with line two. To my mind, it should look more like:

"Did you do that?"

Kevin narrowed his eyes and glared at the speaker, more than a little annoyed by the snotty tone. "Of course I did it," he snapped.

"I did't think you had enough brains for it," Peter said as he stalked across the room to loom over him in that damnable way of his.


Maybe I'm the one with the misconception, maybe I'm the one totally in the wrong, and by all means correct me if I am. Maybe it's just a stylistic thing and I don't like the style. But it seems to me that you should match everything up. I have so many ebooks that do the same thing, so maybe it really is me.

Still, I find it aggravating.

Comments

[mechante-fille.livejournal.com]

No, no. You are totally right. *nods* That is less of a pet peeve for me, and more of a 'I just don't get it/want to spend the effort to get it.'

[tsaiko.livejournal.com]

I totally thought Kevin was speaking lines 1&3, and Peter line 2. Good lord, that's terrible.

[lokiloo.livejournal.com]

;___;

[skylark97.livejournal.com]

Hey, makes sense to me. This is why I have to read and reread everything I write, cause I have tendency to do that if I'm not careful. X_x

And that was a good example, cause in the first set, I totally assumed that speaker 1 and 3 was Kevin, and speaker 2 was Peter and the second example shows it was the total opposite. I mean, there's stylistic and then there's confusing the crap out of your readers...>_>;;

It's one of those mistakes that gets made, I'd imagine, when writers try to get away from the 'he said, she said' way of denoting speaker. Rookie mistakes that sometimes the veterans make if they're not paying enough attention...

I also don't think it's you. Some of those ebooks we've been reading make some major rookie mistakes. I've read a couple where the epithets that they come up with drive me nuts.

[raielchan.livejournal.com]

No, you're 100% right.

[shattereternity.livejournal.com]

i agree...when i read something that looks like that the whole flow is disrupted and i usually end up spending a couple extra minutes trying to figure out who said/did what...very annoying

[sixpence1323.livejournal.com]

OH GOD I HATE THAT.

*shiver shiver*

Please, make it stop... make it stop...

I wish I had laser beams for eyes and I could zap everyone who does that. (That's... really weird. I know)

I also hate encountering this:

"Hello," Kaite said. "What are you doing today?" Joe asked. <- when they don't separate at all! And do it for paragraphs! Gah!

[nikerymis.livejournal.com]

::wince:: That drives me nuts. It always takes me three times to figure out who's saying what and who's doing what before I get it, and quite honestly, that's not good storytelling. If you have to focus on the words that much, it makes it hard to get into the story. At least, it does for me. ^___^

[kalldoro.livejournal.com]

Dude! I couldn't agree with you more! It seems such a basic thing to make sure your readers understand what's going on. I think sometimes some writers forget that while THEY know what's happening that doesn't mean it's clear to everyone else.

[stardance.livejournal.com]

It's not just you.

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Yeah, rookie stories I totally don't get upset. Man, i would hate to see alllllll the mistakes I made in rainbow ^_^;;;

Epithets. Man, I think it was your very first post that really made me notice more my epithets. I'd been trying before that, but your post of long ago really drove it home. Oh my lord does it drive me crazy. Those ebooks have some prize ones. I would love to ask the writers "wtf made you think that was a good idea?"

Though, even epithets have nothing on all the different ways to say cock.

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Heh. You are, as ever, much more with the Zen. Or something.

[maderr.livejournal.com]

That wasn't directed at you, my dear, though I can see you are guilty. I've been rereading some of the torq books I have in print. Anyway, I'm beta'ing for you, that's way different than reading a published book that does it.

[rappleart3.livejournal.com]

so right. i really hate it when authors do that 'cause its so confusing. makes me appreciate ur writing all the more tho ^-^

[koneikaa66.livejournal.com]

understand how you feel...

[lokiloo.livejournal.com]

It's not that I'd do it on purpose! I just sorta assumed that you beta'ing meant It was directed at me. :(

[camden-rehab.livejournal.com]

It gives me a headache when people don't match up speakers with what's spoken properly...

[maderr.livejournal.com]

No way! If I was mad at you, child, I would have emailed threatening your as yet unborn children. I assure you. No, no, it was ebooks combined with print books. Published writers should know better. Your story, so far, is cute, and nothing too terrible at all <<<3333 Honestly, the only real problem with your story I had for .5 seconds was that stupid hotmail ate the breaks b/t paragraphs. And that was easy enough to fix <3

[tsubaki-dono.livejournal.com]

Nah, that makes perfect sense. I would rather write that way too. And I to try.

[melayneseahawk.livejournal.com]

Ooh, do you mind if we use something similar to that as an example of bad dialogue for a fandom_grammar Feature?

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Not at all ^__^ Do as you please.

[acesha-coeurl.livejournal.com]

I'm good friends with an English major who grammar checks our MSN Messenger conversations. She would go nuts with the red pen on that one.

[acesha-coeurl.livejournal.com]

(oh, and on a side note, did you see my comment about cover assistance?)

[lokiloo.livejournal.com]

D'aw. *warm fuzzy feelings*

[maderr.livejournal.com]

I did. I've not had my wits about me enough to make proper reply. I am def considering it.