up, down, up, down
Jul. 29th, 2008 06:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
maderrMy moods seems to be taking an abrupt swing down this week. Not certain why. Clearly two weeks of upbeat was too much for me to take.
Have been biting off heads I should not be biting, and came very close to jut hauling off and punching someone. Just...I think it safe to say I have zero security in anything. Barely even my writing. There is no reason for this, gods know people are far too kind in telling me I am not a failure. Simply my own head; it is my greatest gift, and my worst enemy. So I overreact, I know it, when people treat me like I'm stupid. Especially when they presume to know better than I, what I am thinking. I am not stupid, but some days, no matter what anyone says, this can be hard to remember.
Midnight, I begin to despair. Spurious, I still hope to have it totally done in another week or two, but do not hate me too much if it takes a little longer. Something about the second half is weighing me down, but I have not yet figured out what >_o
Now to get a shower, then see if I have anything for dinner, then Robin Hood, I think. I shouldn't even be writing it, because I hate when people do historical period crap and do it wrong, and gods know I'm doing it wrong, but *shrug* it's only for fun? I cannot imagine every putting it up for sale, it's way too ridiculous and farfetched for that, but it's amusing me for now and I do like the way I've chosen to butcher it.
Though, speaking of, am dl'ing the BBS show everyone keeps talking about and the fsking torrent is only at 64.2% and has been that way for two days. I know it's four gigs, but come on...
What I want, odldy enough, is something to read. Poly, I think. Don't know why, but that's where my fancy lies. Sadly, my options at this point are just to reread everything I already reread this weekend, or troll for new stuff. Or write it myself, but I've got too much else to do atm, to take up something like that.
/random
Have been biting off heads I should not be biting, and came very close to jut hauling off and punching someone. Just...I think it safe to say I have zero security in anything. Barely even my writing. There is no reason for this, gods know people are far too kind in telling me I am not a failure. Simply my own head; it is my greatest gift, and my worst enemy. So I overreact, I know it, when people treat me like I'm stupid. Especially when they presume to know better than I, what I am thinking. I am not stupid, but some days, no matter what anyone says, this can be hard to remember.
Midnight, I begin to despair. Spurious, I still hope to have it totally done in another week or two, but do not hate me too much if it takes a little longer. Something about the second half is weighing me down, but I have not yet figured out what >_o
Now to get a shower, then see if I have anything for dinner, then Robin Hood, I think. I shouldn't even be writing it, because I hate when people do historical period crap and do it wrong, and gods know I'm doing it wrong, but *shrug* it's only for fun? I cannot imagine every putting it up for sale, it's way too ridiculous and farfetched for that, but it's amusing me for now and I do like the way I've chosen to butcher it.
Though, speaking of, am dl'ing the BBS show everyone keeps talking about and the fsking torrent is only at 64.2% and has been that way for two days. I know it's four gigs, but come on...
What I want, odldy enough, is something to read. Poly, I think. Don't know why, but that's where my fancy lies. Sadly, my options at this point are just to reread everything I already reread this weekend, or troll for new stuff. Or write it myself, but I've got too much else to do atm, to take up something like that.
/random
