maderr: (Llama crossdressing)
[personal profile] maderr
Randomly occured to me. Probably will become a full fledged story, someday. We shall see.



Hollowick was going to kill the unicorn. Not that the wizard did not deserve murder, as well, but the unicorn always seemed to be the one to start the game from sheer boredom.

He did not even particularly care that he would then be killed himself, for slaughtering a Grade Five familiar. If the damned thing did not shut up, he was going to kill it and use its horn for a new wand.

Or maybe just shove it up the ass of the wizard letting his unicorn get away with such stupid, tasteless things.

Twitching with an urge to murder, hoping they would shut up soon so he would not have to explain why he could hear them as well as they could hear each other, Hollowick focused on the book he had brough to read while the King's speech droned on and on. He would screamed at for it later, but too bad. One more hour, he reminded himself, one more hour and then he could go find a pillow and smother himself and be spared the hanging that would come with killing a unicorn.

Perhaps the prime minister of Balis? the unicorn asked. As stuffy as he is, I bet he completely lets go in the bedroom. I say a four, easy.

I doubt it.
replied Prince Fenwick, the wizard who own the damned unicorn Hollowick was going to murder. He's probably boring as toast. Not more than a two.

Hmm. What about the Kalaba chit? She's pretty enough, and more than a little endowed, eh? Six.

Oh, yes, and a bossy little temper to match. Three.

All right, then how about the Princess of Marra? You cannot get any finer that that. Seven, absolutely.


Hollowick really hoped the dumbass attempted to seduce his sister, if that was the ultimate point of their asinine game. Nothing would amuse him more than to see them learn the hard way why she required no wizardly escort. No magic in the world stood a chance against her right hook. Eighteen wizards, five princes, two princessess, and an assortment of nobles could all testify to that. Let them try! It would be even sweeter than causing their deaths.

Oh, she is quite the beauty, I give you that. But violent in the extreme, and unless one is into such things....that would drop her to a four, I say.

I suppose you have a point. What about her brother there, eh? I would definitely put him at--

If you even
attempt to finish that thought, either one of you, Hollowick thought savagely to them both I will cut off bits that will render this entire converstaion completely academic for you.

The thunderous silence that followed his statement was the most wonderful thing he had heard all day. Feeling decidely cheered, Hollowick focused upon his book and ignored the looks he could feel from Prince Fenwick and his silver-white unicorn.

Date: 2009-02-18 12:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nikerymis.livejournal.com
::dies of giggles:: FTW.

Date: 2009-02-18 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maderr.livejournal.com

I see you are completely returned, at last. How is KL?

Date: 2009-02-18 12:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nikerymis.livejournal.com
Sleepy. He was even quiet the entire trip home, for once. I think he is tuckered out from his play date. ^__^

Dude, and I would totally be willing to be bribed with more of this. On an unrelated note, I am being nibbled at by a brand new spinoff project for my witch verse (about as far from snakes as I can get). ^__^;;

Date: 2009-02-18 12:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maderr.livejournal.com

Heh. duly noted. Will write unicorns for snakes.

Oh, but that sounds fun ^__^ What is spin off?

Date: 2009-02-18 12:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nikerymis.livejournal.com
::giggles:: That sounds like one of those signs you'd prop up as you sat homeless by the side of the road. ^__~

Uh, pretty nymph who wants to be a polymer scientist but no one takes him seriously because nymphs are traditionally bubble headed. ^__^

Date: 2009-02-18 12:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maderr.livejournal.com

Heh. I always thought my homeless sign would say 'will work for gay pron'

Oh, neat ^___^ And he would have to be all floofy pretty too, to add insult to injury.

Date: 2009-02-18 12:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nikerymis.livejournal.com
With pink sparkles and everything.

Yeah, the magic in the 'verse takes care of that. ^__^ Nymphs can't be anything but pretty; their magic doesn't let them. So if they break their nose? It doesn't come out crooked.

Date: 2009-02-18 12:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maderr.livejournal.com

liek totally ^___^


Hee hee. Poor nymph.

Date: 2009-02-18 12:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nikerymis.livejournal.com
He shaves his head, but his hair grows back too quickly. I think he's accidentally and against his will going to end up with the coffee barrister. ^__^ That's about all I've figured out so far.

Date: 2009-02-18 12:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maderr.livejournal.com
sounds like a story made of win ^____^

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