Random Musings

[maderr]

So after watching Samurai Champloo, my mind has been stuck on wondering what sort of whack combinations could be made to work. I mean you wouldn't immediately put Samurai with hip-hop - but Watanabe (sp?) makes it work.

My thoughts have been locked on that for the past several days, and those thoughts brought me 'round to an old favorite - cliches.

And whenever I think of cliches, I think of my Ultimate Archnemis:

Vampires. I hate vampire stories, will not read them unless they come highly recommended by a handful of peeps or I'm in the mood for self-mutilation of the brain.

Anyway. This loops back to weird combos. Why do vampires always go after pansies and nancy boys? I mean seriously, let's think about this.

Go with Rice vampires, b/c they're more or less the Textbook Example of Been Done to Death Vampires. They're all whiny, prissy bitches. Even Armand, though I loved the boy to death when I still like Anne Rice, tended to be sniveling and whiny and bitchy. So why do they always go after other nancy boys? Why does any vampire go after the bratty little fops?

Seriously. It's a bit like always eating junk food isn't it? Gets boring, every now and then don't you think they'd want real food? I mean Lestat taught everyone to just kill criminals and stuff, but that's not really much different from junk food, I should think.

So. I'm a vampire. What sort of 'meat' would I want?

Cowboys might be fun. A little tough, yeah, but not only would they have good blood - they'd put up a hell of a fight. Nice steak made on the grill at home instead of a burger bought at the King.

I think it would be pretty cool - Vampires in the old, wild west. If I knew shit about the old west, I'd be all over it. Sounds loads more interesting than Embrace (and don't you lot even start. I should hand that story over to someone who likes Vamps, I swear. Maybe I should start over and make it more cohesive...blargh. That story terrifies me, you have no idea).

How much ludicrous fun would that be? Hot!Angsty!Loner!Gunslinger is harassed by Cocky!Sheriff who is actually a vampire. Or maybe Sheriff hits on a lonely little cowboy who's looking to settle down rather than ride with the herd...or should the cowboy be the vamp? And the sheriff the victim? That would be hot too...but I dunno, somehow I like the sheriff. It would be harder to do, since he's stable rather than a wanderer...hmm...it would have to be the cowboy I guess. Except that being out on the range, he'd have a hard time getting food since it's bad policy to feed on his comrades.

What's a good name for a vampire old west sheriff? Ralph? *snerk* Maybe not.

Okay, that's it. I'm not getting into this. I know zilch about the old west (though more than I like about vampires) and have too much to do already. I don't think I could keep a straight face long enough, anyway.

And no, I haven't been drinking. But that's about to change, because Ralph Sheriff needs to be erased from my head.

Comments

[skylark97.livejournal.com]

or should the cowboy be the vamp?

Yay for cowboy vamp! Seriously, you'd have to think with a whole herd of cattle, it would be easier to hide your vampirism a bit (well, if you could withstand sunlight). Cows bleed like you would not believe. Never ending source of blood (practically. I mean, you have to think that your average cow has a hell of a lot of blood). Um, not that I do unsavory things to cows. I followed a large animal vet around once and one punch to the jugular with a hypo and that thing squirted blood like you would not believe. It was both fascinating and made me pass out like a little wussy girl.

Sci-fi vamp might be interesting too. I've seen shapeshifters in space, but not so much vamps. (Course, I might be looking in the wrong places too...)

*snickers* Sheriff Ralph. I love it! *glomps*

[maderr.livejournal.com]

I think in the end the cowboy does make more sense. And sheesh, I didn't even think about the cows. Cleary I'm too hooked on the 'only humans will do' concept.

Sci-fi vamps? Don't even. It's bad enough you got a narcotic called Souls out of me. *turns brain off*

*glomps back* How was the field trip (or should I wait for the post?) ?

[nepenth.livejournal.com]

.... a *vampire* named *ralph*?
::tries to deperately recover from laughing:: OMG. i think you may have written the best vampire rant i've ever read. ralph. ::snerkles:: have i mentioned that this has made my day. truely it has.

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Oh, good. I'm not the only one giggling like a fiend. Heh, always happy to make someone laugh. *glomps*

[melayneseahawk.livejournal.com]

*cackles like a mini-fiend*

That was hilarious. And I even like vamp stories. Well, good ones, at least. Speaking of good vamp stories, if you ever want good stuff (not very slahable, though) read Amelia Atwater Rhodes' stuff; all the fun of Rice but the vamps aren't whiny nancy-boys.

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Amelia Atwater Rhodes. Duly noted, oh trusted peep. ^_~

[melayneseahawk.livejournal.com]

Duly noted, oh trusted peep. ^_~

*cackle*

But, seriously, some of the vamps are chicks, but they're all really strong characters both characterization-wise and personality-wise. You can understand why a 500-year-old being would want them around for a long time. :)

[rykaine.livejournal.com]

mmm.... I love a good steak cowboy. But you already know that.

And I think Ralph... er, sheriff would make an excellent vampire. Poor gunslinger wouldn't know what hit'em.

mmm... steak. I mean cowboy. Whatever.

[maderr.livejournal.com]

*laughs madly*

Steak. Cowboy. Same diff. Both good meat right?

And speaking of cowboy stories...*completley innocent look*

[rykaine.livejournal.com]

You'll get that when you get everything else that I've never written. Eventually. When my term in this hell-hole is complete. Or when I conceivable find the time. Whichever comes first.

Steak. Cowboy. Same diff. Both good meat right?
Hell, they're downright sexy.

If I thought I could do Vampires any ever or at all, I'd totally steal it from you and make in M-I-N-E.

[white_aster]

^____^ I'm all about the cracked out combos of genres. Wild West cowboy vampires would rock. Though I have to agree that a sheriff vamp would be hard to pull off, unless vamps are accepted. I mean, the whole daylight thing. Same, really, for the cowboy. Either way, they're daytime occupations.... But an alternate universe where vamps are accepted or at least uneasily coexisting? That would rock. :)

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Ah, see, daylight was something else I neglected to account for. Either that particular problem would have to be nonexistant, or yeah - a place where vamps are excepted.

Darn it, you people are so entirely not helping me not write this. :P

[white_aster]

Ah, see, daylight was something else I neglected to account for. Either that particular problem would have to be nonexistant, or yeah - a place where vamps are excepted.

Darn it, you people are so entirely not helping me not write this. :P

:blithely ignoring that last: So, we're talking either radical change of environment (or not just cowboy vampires, SPACE ALIEN COWBOY VAMPIRES ON THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON! ^_______^), or...hmmm...you know, I think that they'd have to have some mega-adapted cows for this to work, too. I mean, cows aren't normally nocturnal, either, and I'm not sure how they'd take to the turn-around in activity, if vamps are trying to herd them at night.... Hmm...must cogitate on this....

[maderr.livejournal.com]

SPACE ALIEN COWBOY VAMPIRES ON THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON

*falls off chair laughing*

Well, I wonder. How necessary is it that vamps can't go around in daylight? If you nix that, not too much else would need to be tweaked.

But you're right, this needs pondering.

[kiyoshi-chan.livejournal.com]

How necessary is it that vamps can't go around in daylight?

It depends on how much you want to follow the old cliche. I believe salt, silver, running water and fire (the sun) all have cleansing purposes, because the concept is that vampire = undead = evil, which is why they have to avoid these things, the important one being "evil" there. (Then again, I've read stuff where running water is a type of landmark, nothing more, so... But, well, just giving you suggestions.) What I'm trying to say is that if your vampire is "sanctioned" by Good, maybe...? Some kind of vampire God-appointed vigilante, who became a vampire because God wanted him to?

Oh man, sorry, I'm just going to sit in this corner laughing my butt off. I believe we'd make the Christians SO pissed off at us.

[kiyoshi-chan.livejournal.com]

Oh, and if you want a practical reason why he can move about in sunlight, you might say that if he's appointed by Good forces, possibly to hunt other vampires, he's going to need the advantage of extra time. Which would assume that humans might not know about vampires or be able to kill them on their own, which is why divine intervention is required?

Oh, and if he's not /evil/, would the animals still react /badly/? Keyword being 'badly' now.

...Uh, yeah, shutting up now.

[maderr.livejournal.com]

I think I'd like to keep matters simpler than that. But the idea has merrit.

[white_aster]

Well, s'true, you could always nix the no daylight thing. I mean, just about any part except the drinking blood part can and has been dropped if required. And oh, something else I forgot to mention, re: the cowboy finding it hard to find some nourishment on the range...dude....COWS. I mean, it's MRE's rather than sheriff!steak, but still....

Oh man, now you've got ME thinking about it...and you know, Torquere Press has a Cowboy Up anthology that's open for submissions.... (http://www.torquerepress.com/submissions/anthologies.html ). Argh, they're looking for 10k-14k words by May 15th...don't think I could manage that...rats...a bitty space alien cowboy vampire story I could do, but not something that big....

[maderr.livejournal.com]

10k is quite a chunk. We should see what we can do.

I'm going to start giggling in the middle of work tomorrow because of this and my coworkers will only be reaffirmed in theier beliefs that I'm stark raving mad.

[kiyoshi-chan.livejournal.com]

Stop putting ideas in my head, I'm bad enough alone. :P

Also, the concept interests me. The only problem I can see is that I would think cowboys of any kind spend a lot of time in daylight. ^^;;; And would horses/cows/animals dislike vampires? Because that would kind of suck if he was the cowboy then.

[maderr.livejournal.com]

The daylight dilemma is currently undergoing consideration at white_aster's House of Mischief and Mayhem.

And hmm, I hadn't thought about how the animals would react. *puts on the 'needs worked out' list*

[kiyoshi-chan.livejournal.com]

*puts on the 'needs worked out' list*

So does THAT mean you're going to write it after all? >D

[rykaine.livejournal.com]

Oh, she has to write it now. Now she's got everyone excited about it.

Or maybe that's just me. mmm... Cowboys.

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Fiends all of you.

[kiyoshi-chan.livejournal.com]

*radiates innocence at you*

Who, /us/?

[maderr.livejournal.com]

I can see you snickering...

[kiyoshi-chan.livejournal.com]

*radiates more innocence*

[maderr.livejournal.com]

my dearest ki-chan, the only thing you radiate is mischief.

[kiyoshi-chan.livejournal.com]

Aw. :P *glomps*

[kiyoshi-chan.livejournal.com]

No, no, not just you. >D You can see ALL of us scurrying over this idea like a big bunch of ants. :P

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Like ants? No...

[thealisonbailey.livejournal.com]

Like a pack of dogs on a three-legged cat? =3

[kiyoshi-chan.livejournal.com]

Like a bunch of male dogs after a female dog in heat? =D;;;

[thecookietheory.livejournal.com]

So since you're in this vampire funk, does this mean I can clutch you and hopelessly pray for more Embrace?

Dice: ...Doubtfull.

Hannah: >.>; I know. *sulk* It's just, I love it so much! Completley your non-norm vampie story.

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Mmm, wait until I'm done with Treasure. Then the proper application of guilt might override my overwhelming fear of that story.

[thecookietheory.livejournal.com]

We must dispell this fear! (Yay.) *skuttles off to burry nose in Treasure* Whee.

[starparty.livejournal.com]

You are all on crack.

I like it ^^

[kiyoshi-chan.livejournal.com]

Want some for yourself? XD

[hayama-sb.livejournal.com]

Speaking of Vampires, I got Hellsing vol6 today from the comic book store. ^^

[maderr.livejournal.com]

ARGH WANT HELLSING SIX.

[thealisonbailey.livejournal.com]

Woo! Anti-traditional vampire! Always nice to find someone else who is equally annoyed by them. They make my IQ drop...

Would your vampire even really need to drink blood? I mean, it you're wanting to break away from the stereotypical, just make 'em undead, then give 'em the immortality and big ole' fangs. Sure, he can do it once in a while, just to make him a "vampire" in the eyes of the readers (who can get really picky about stuff like that), but when you think about it, how much blood would a real vampire need to drink in order to stay alive? (Eight glasses a day to stay healthy?) I don't know of anyone who has dealt with the critters that's seriously considered that, so there just as much out of character as not having them drink would be.

I'd go for the sheriff being the victim -- how cool would it be for the vamp to make a total authority figure his uke? Dominance! Then who's the one really running the town, eh?

Cowboy slash = yay. Dragging up old ideas and making me feel bad about not acting on current ideas = boo. But, I will be going back through my paper work tonight (this morning?) to find out all of the names to my old cowboy series, because all I remember are Dr. Leone and Remington. I did a lot of research into those names to make sure they were 100% western flavored, if you'd like to borrow one. =) Really, "Ralph"? That sounds so ... I dunno, round and balding. XD Lol, not a sexy cowboy name.

I'm a fan of the Old West (Buffalo Bill Museum this summer! OMG, f'in squee!) and cowboys in general, so if you would be in need of any assistance, feel free to look me up. =D

[thealisonbailey.livejournal.com]

Now that you have me singing "I Should Have Been a Cowboy" and many other cowboy related songs, did you hear that Chris LeDoux died? Liver cancer.

The rodeo circuit would be another place for slashing.

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Eight glasses a day *snerk* But you make a good point - they probably wouldn't need to feed all that often. I mean even in Riceverse they only fed once in a great while as they matured.

I wasn't serious about Ralph, I was trying to come up with the worst possible name for the setting. You'll have to hook me up with some authentic western names. And if you know some good resources, let me know. I can see you'll be my official Consultant whenever I get around to working on this. ^_~

[cradle-of-faith.livejournal.com]

ooo! Im glad I saw this post... i am obsessed with vampire stories.. I believe Ive read one with a western theme... somewhere, idk.. as far as the vampire/sun problem... you could go the route of Blade and have him be a halfling, or the next stage of vampire evolution...etc.

Have you ever read "Blood: The Last Vampire?" Its a rather good vampire manga... extremely short but worth the read, I know I know its a popular one, I just don't have access to much, I can only read what I find on p2p programs..

anyways I have a few on my computer if you ever wanted to trade/take..

oh!! i just remembered, you have to read the "Preacher" series, its insanely good, has one of my favorite vampire characters of all time..

anyways..

sorry for jumping in, do continue your glomp-fest, I shall retreat....

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Now halfling is an interesting idea. I bet I could work that into the story somewhere easy. Maybe some sort of rivalry? (also a la Blade I guess...) Sheriff vamp hunting down "Rustelers" when really he's just looking for another vamp who's lurking in his territory? maybe the rustler vamp is a half, so that's how he's sneaking around?

*tackle glomp* You rock! ^_^

Never read BtLV though I have been told it's very good. Ever read Hellsing? I think they've released up to volume six stateside, they're really really really good.

The Preacher series, eh? I shall look it up.

[raielchan.livejournal.com]

Not only does a vampire western sound awesome, after much thought I realize I have two movies that would qualify as vampire westerns.

Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat. I'm not sure what you meant by asking "is this good or Tony-good?" but this movie would qualify as one of my guilty pleasures. Modern vampires retreat to an old west ghost town. Movie features:
Vampires that like ZZ Top
David Carradine
Bruce Campbell playing a nerdy, virginal descendant of Van Helsing.
I pray to God that they put this out on DVD so I can replace my pirate-tape copy.

And lastly, John Carpenter's Vampires. The director said he wanted to make a Western. And well, it can't really be called a great movie, but it has style and James Wood talking trash like only James Woods can. I mean really, doesn't that just give you Wood?

Now if only I could find that time-traveling kung fu cowboy flick I channel-flipped through on TV several weekends ago.

[minni.livejournal.com]

Remind me, at some later point, to tell you about Erik the Vampire, who lives in Cutbank, Montana, home of the Blackfoot Indian reservation, and probably the coldest place in the world just outside of the Polar regions.

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Ooh, yes. That is a story you must tell.

[lemmus-egregius.livejournal.com]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

BEST.

IDEA.

EVER.