TGIF

[maderr]

I hate waking up and going to bed feeling ill, but lately that's all I do. Part of it is not eating enough, which I'm hoping will change once we go shopping again and I can get some breakfast stuffs as well as more lunch/snack stuff. But a big part of it is that I simply don't feel like fixing dinner; by the end of the day I'm just too goddamn lazy. So yeah, headaches all fucking week and generally I feel too ill to sleep solidly. And for some reason my body has decided I need to wake up right at four, instead of letting me sleep until five. Though today I just said fuck it and stayed in bed 'til six - but as I knew would happend I hate not having enough to do anything. But I think every now and then you need to do something stupid to remind yourself why you don't do it.

Work itself is not bad. My IAM is an asshole but luckily I don't have to put up wiht him often. My Manager and new coworker are fun, I think we'll be a good team over time.

The only thing I hate is that I never get to see/talk to anyone anymore. I feel further and further away from the goings on.

And my writing is suffering. I've been trying to write one story all week, but I haven't managed to do more than fix two parts of it - it should've all been written by now.

So I'm sorry my inherent laziness is resulting in my letting y'all down with stories. I swear I'll try to do something productive this weekend after I finish my SMP story.

Gods, so should not have slept in. Didn't help at all and I now I get neither coffee nor breakfast.




I said awhile ago that I was going to do The Blade and the Butterfly for Nanowrimo. But laterly I've been wavering more toward Prisoner.

FUCKING BLOODY HELL IT'S RAINING. GREAT. FUCKING GREAT.

Anyway. Thoughts? Opinions? I feel a bit more familiar with Prisoner than BatB (something about that story is still alluding me) but I thought I'd see which interested people more. And I only ask now becasue if I'm going to do what I want for Nano, I need to start on the outlines *now* So lemme know.

Fuck. I can't believe it's raining. Now I have to change my shoes and everything.

Comments

[kiyoshi-chan.livejournal.com]

*huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs* Food is good. Maybe try getting stuff that's quick-and-easy-to-make? I don't mind eating instant food all week, myself, but it may not be the same for you... Maybe try sandwichy things? Those are at least faster than having to cook full meals, right?

Well, I like both stories, and they both make me go *____________* but you already have sort of outlines for BatB right? Since you were planning to do it for NaNo last year? Do you have some sort of equivalent for Prisoner? If you already have a headstart on BatB you might as well stick with that one? Although frankly, since Prisoner's bugging you lately it might be wise to stick to that too... Maybe you should try sketching out the outlines and see which one is easier for you on the whole?

Meep. *huuuuugs*

[maderr.livejournal.com]

*loves* Our problme mostly is our kitchen. I hate it. Even when it's clean it still feels crowded and messy >_< Sarah doe a great job with it, when we stop being lazy and clean it up, but I still just can't like it. So that's part of my problem. I'll get it over it eventually XP

Actually, I never made an outline for BatB. There are parts of that story I see so clearly...and then far too many blank spaces. So I think I will be going with Prisoner, as the blank spaces in that one are much fewer and lessoing by the day.

*hugs* Thanks, ki ^_^

[kiyoshi-chan.livejournal.com]

Anytime. *cuddles* Hope you enjoy your weekend. ^_~

*meep*

[chris-king-2005.livejournal.com]

Wow.

*pause for awed silence*

You write outlines?

*sigh*

*toddles off, muttering under my breath*

Do you think that would keep my characters from running amok?

*pouts*

Re: *meep*

[maderr.livejournal.com]

I only do outlines for major things - like nanowrimo, b/c it's the only way I'll be able to write that much that fast. Otherwise the most I'll do is jot down the thing I know I'll forget in one of my notebooks.

And no, if anything they get even more out of control. I think it just encouraged mischief when you try to establish order.

Re: *meep*

[chris-king-2005.livejournal.com]

Oh.

*grumbles*

Between the plot bunnies and the rebellious characters, it's freaking chaos around here most of the time.

Have you done nanowrimo before? *stares at you in round eyed wonder*

[skylark97.livejournal.com]

*hugs* It's just been an off week, although, yeah, not eating will definitely not help anything. ;3 Course, after you work all day long, the last thing you want to do when you get home is spend half an hour cooking something. (Ah, the true reason behind why Jason and I eat so much fast food...>_>;;;)

I'm glad that at least some of the people where you're working are nice. *discreetly drop kicks IAM*

So I'm sorry my inherent laziness is resulting in my letting y'all down with stories.

Phwee? This month alone you've posted The Ogre and the Mountain, Put It On And Don't Say A Word, and The Knight and the Prince. All of which were completed stories and all of which that had to at least be 7000-8000 words, if not more. (Like, how much more productive do you want to be, girly? ^_~)

I'm leaning more towards Prisoner, but I think that's just because I'm more familiar with it. Of course, if you wanted to write about the forbidden sex lives of ladybugs, you'd probably still find a way to make it interesting, fun and exciting to read. ;3 (Squee!! *bounces* Is it November yet? ;_;)

Hope the day gets better and that the rain goes away. *huggles*

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Huh. Somehow I totally didn't notice I'd posted that much. Maybe because all I see is what i still have to do. And I was supposed to be *done* with Paradise and one other story by now, and I haven't even added a new chapter >_< Clearly I can't see the forest for the trees, so thanks Sky. That really does help.

'Twould seem Prisoner is the story of choice, woo hoo! The Forbidden Sex Lives of Ladybugs? >_> If I can figure out how to write a story around that...*loves* ^_^

Is it November yet?

Please dear god no. Not yet. Megan needs time.

The day's improved muchly ^_^ Thanks.

[kiyoshi-chan.livejournal.com]

The Forbidden Sex Lives of Ladybugs? >_> If I can figure out how to write a story around that...

You could try doing what I was doing with Rael-and-family. Or work it in with fairy-stuff.

*runs away*

[rykaine.livejournal.com]

In terms of the not writing and disconnection, it could have mostly/somewhat to do with that you're simply not quite used to or in sync with your new schedule. When you first started at the other site, your writing also "suffered" for a time being, until you finally managed to adjust or whatever. At least, that's how it seems to me.

You really need to stop worrying about disappointed any of us. That's only going to cause you to feel disappointed in yourself, which will only make you feel even more down which will probably just contribute to your feeling sick. It's not that we don't matter, but worry over yourself first. If you're too tired to write, you're too tired to write.

And the longer you continue to feel like work cuts into your writing and free time, the more it will and the more you'll come to hate it even more. I think much of it is your own fretting and concerns that you're somehow falling behind. Write what you want, when you want, if you want. I know you have deadlines for some things; maybe you should consider cutting back on those for the time being, until you are straight and no longer feeling pressed and tired. YOu already seem to impose so many of your own deadlines on yourself, maybe you should just eliminate those that actually do exist.

When you go to work and come home, don't dwell on all that time you've somehow lost and cannot now use to write. Don't even look at it like that. Again, that's not going to make you feel better. It's not really time poorly spent, is it? If you want to write at the end of the day, write. If you don't, go read a book or watch a movie.

Free time is called such because you can do whatever the hell you want to. There's no obligation. Writing is something you enjoy; you keep trying to make it a chore. It isn't. We like reading what you put out, and we don't mind waiting for it. It's always worth it. Don't worry so much.

You'll get this current project done, it'll be good, and then you can go to work on something else, like Embrace whatever it may be. But at your leisure. ^_^

To answer the writing question

[rykaine.livejournal.com]

Whatever's more familiar or clear in your mind. Or maybe simply what's fresher. If it appears that Prisoner will write better or more clearly or whatever, by all means. It won't hurt my feelings whatever you pick.

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Ah, Sip. My little shoulder angel. My voice of reason ^_^

Actually, I don't see writing as a chore. That's why it's so frustrating - it's what I want to do. I spend all day thinking up ways to do this or that, joting notes (writing while I should be working...) but by the time I get home I'm just *dead* and all the desire in the world can't give me the energy to do it. And I just feel bad because I say I'll have this or that, but I seldom do for one reason or another.

Jewel, jeez. I'm not sorry I'm writing it but ye gods will I be glad when I'm DONE. If the recepient doesn't like it I will weep into my pillow for a month straight XD

[rykaine.livejournal.com]

Well, then you're making it sound like a chore by feeling bad for not getting done what you say you'll get done. Don't worry about it. We all know how the real world interupts "the best laid plans of mice and men", so there's not point worrying how we're going to react.

You don't have the energy, and maybe won't until you really get into the swing of the new hours and environement or whatnot. Give that time, and I'm sure the energy will come back to you. It's not worth stressing over in the interim, it'll only make the going slower.

I beat the recipient silly if she doesn't like it. ^_^

[stardance.livejournal.com]

I think you should write whichever oneyou feel more like writing. NaNoWriMo isn't an easy thing, so if you pick something you're not as comfortable with or if you have doubts that you can do it as well as you might have wanted to do another one, it won't be as good as it could have been. You'll get to both of them eventually ^^. (and I think the Blade and the Butterfly has a lot of potential. So don't rush it :D)

Also don't worry about disappointing us. You know we aren't ever disappointed by you and if you don't, you should. We're your friends and so we'll be able to support anything you need to do <3 Writing shouldn't get to the point where it feels like a chore if it's what you love.

*hugs* Have a good day and don't worry. Things will settle down.

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Blade is vexing me, so yeah I think I will go with Prisoner - those boys don't shut up.

^_^ I am spoiled rotten by my friends here. You guys let me get away with everything. It never feels like a chore - I think I just get frustrated b/c I never write as much as I want to.

[mailechan.livejournal.com]

You know, everyone goes through slumps. You're starting to get acclimatized to your new position, it has long hours, a sucky commute, and the weather has been pretty nasty. It only makes sense that you are having a tough time creatively.

I'm going through the same thing, what with Otakon finally out of the way. It usually takes me a couple of months to really get back into the swing of things. (I blame it on age in my case. ^_^) Give yourself some time. Let your creativity flow the way it wants to. If Prisoner is where your mind wants to work, let it.

(And personally, I love all your stories, so let it flow!)

[maderr.livejournal.com]

I still can't believe you lost everythign on your computer >_< I think I'dve started crying...or hunted down the tech and beaten him senseless.

Prisoner it shall be then ^_^ Thanks, Maile.

[mailechan.livejournal.com]

It was very, very, VERY hard not to scream, and I'm amazed I kept all my swearing internal, I have to admit. Still, I think I can rebuild most of it. I don't have as many bunnies on my list as you do. For which I'm grateful. ^_^

[raielchan.livejournal.com]

Kinda know how you feel.
I almost was good at went to bed at 1, but I probably didn't fall asleep 'til 3. That was really not good considering tonight is one of my drive to Dayton nights. However, I"m oddly feeling okay. That is just dumb luck.

I did manage to reach and talk to you last night so you got to talk to someone at least ^^

And remember, I'm only a hop, skip, and jump away if you want me to stop by or you want to stop by sometime. I also owe you like $9 or something. So either I need to give you a big lump of cash or the next movie you see with me is free.

[inklacedfeather.livejournal.com]

::looks down in shame:: I'm the one not up to par with all of your works. I didn't even get to the end of the ones ya ended! I should be applogising to you not the other way around.

Don't worry I'm sure once you get into the groove of everything it'll all fall into place. Dun worry over it so much.

I say write whichever you feel more comfortable writing. Or write whichever excites you more. Because if you like writing it people will like reading it. Its a dun deal I promise.

[maderr.livejournal.com]

*loves and adores* You've been busy, babe. You're under no obligation to do or read anything - it's kind of a "if you want and are able" sort of thing ^_~ Miss your being around lots, I hope you're still having fun at school and all despite all the stuff that's gone down.

[inklacedfeather.livejournal.com]

::whines:: But I do want to read!

Ah School...I must move back to that place, alas I dun wanna...

Oh I have an entry for you Boys and Sunshine that I wrote last night just need to get it beta'd. Cause I suck with the english language.