(no subject)

I am really getting tired of being told I should have a boyfriend, I need to be married, and that people are meant to spend their lives with a special someone -_- It was funny at first, but I'm starting to get tired of it.

Still mad at muses. I wish I could dictate what gets written, and I feel like a thousand different kinds of worthless and stupid when people push stories they'd like me to write,b/c I can very rarely write on demand. Esp. shit like Paradise, when my interests just don't lie any longer with contemp. It's never been my flavor. I did it for a time, to get my feet wet...but I'm happier in fantasy and sci-fi and supernaturl. Straight up ordinary modern is just bleh to me writing wise.

Ah, well.

Ramble ramble.

Food, maybe, then more attempting to make muses cooperate.

I use the icon simply because it amuses me given the crap I listen to at work.

(no subject)

So apparently I'm a jerk.

I'm really sorry if anyone feels I've been unfairly harsh or brutal or whatnot.

It probably sounds like a flimsy excuse, but I guess my family has always been hard? If you see us with each other, we take no quarter. A friend told me once that I have no patience for weakness, and I guess that's not totally inaccurate. Mostly, I just call myself a raging bitch. I've never been good at gentle, I'm prone to exaggerating to make a point, and when I argue I argue to the death -- fully expecting to be treated just as brutally. I too often forget not everyone is up to fighting back at that level, and so I come off in the end as a massive fucking bitch.

I don't meant it. Was not aware various people had this impression of me, or that I was treating everyoe so horribly. I am too often guilty of not seeing the obvious.

So, I apologize. I'll try to take more care.