*evil grin*

[maderr]

Cleaning up, I discovered jolena left her bag of ribbons and jewelry here.

I'll start the bidding at five dollars.

I have $12.50. Do I have $13.00?

Do I have $14.00?

Do I have $23.00?

Do I hear $30.00?!

Thirty Three?

Do I have $40.00?

And all bidders please note, bidding ends at 5:00 pm EST

Do I hear $100.00?

Bidding is up to $350.39. Do I hear $355.00?

Fifteen minute warning, bidders.

Five minute warning

BIDDING CLOSED. And in a surprise last minute bid, the goods go to jolena for $1000.00

I accept currency in US $, good fiction or porn. Please send by the end of the week. Thank you for bidding and have a nice day.

Comments

[jolena.livejournal.com]

YOU bought me one of the charms in the bag with the ribbons. I think that would prove rather nicely that they were MINE!

[maderr.livejournal.com]

Huh? I don't remember such an event. If you continue with this slander, you'll be speaking to my lawyers.

[jolena.livejournal.com]

Mmm, lawyers. The breakfast of champions.

[maderr.livejournal.com]

LMAO

[jolena.livejournal.com]

Just make sure they're pudgy. The thin ones have NO meat.

[starparty.livejournal.com]

Ug. Stringy Filet of Laywer is nasty!

[jolena.livejournal.com]

Completely un-eatable.

[starparty.livejournal.com]

You really have to watch where you buy your laywer. The grocery store just can't get the quality cuts in. You have to go to a speciality shop to get the good stuff.

[rykaine.livejournal.com]

The smaller firms are the best. The meat is a lot younger, which lends to a lot more fat, which lends to much juiciness.

[jolena.livejournal.com]

Oh, I just grab them right out of the court room and butcher them myself. Its my beleif that all animals are best when taken straight from the wild.

[starparty.livejournal.com]

Bwahhahah!

Breaded and Fried?

[jolena.livejournal.com]

No, baked with carrots and potatoes. And the eyeballs are absolutely perfect in ice cream.

[starparty.livejournal.com]

oooh! Yum! Now do you use their own juices to baste them or do you make a gravy beforehand?

[jolena.livejournal.com]

Their own juices. I'm miserable with gravies. Besides, if you regularly brush the blood over them, they get this wonderful tangy flavor.

[starparty.livejournal.com]

Oh and I'll bet that does wonders for their color! Keeping them locked in the basement for months just leaches the tan right out and that pale fishy color is just so unappetizing. And tangy is good! Now do you stuff them with a standard dressing?

[jolena.livejournal.com]

Yeah, just the basics. I find most of the fancier kinds just make their heads swell.

[rykaine.livejournal.com]

mmm... with mashed tater?

[starparty.livejournal.com]

oooh that'd be good! jolena was talking about using the eyeballs on ice cream so we just need a vegetable.

[rykaine.livejournal.com]

brocoli?

[starparty.livejournal.com]

Hmm I dunno. Do you thing we can pass the brains off as cauliflower?

Waste not want not after all.

[rykaine.livejournal.com]

Oh, definitely. Boil it just right, and I'm sure it would work just well. We can make a salad of it!

[rykaine.livejournal.com]

I think you mean, libel, yes? Written not spoken?

[rykaine.livejournal.com]

That doesn't prove anything. It's all hearsay, really.

[jolena.livejournal.com]

*smack* *smackagain*

[rykaine.livejournal.com]

*ow ow fucking ow*